#certain people have been dragging his name into things that don��t matter

[wedreamedlove]

[FIC] Liminal Spaces (v.1)

Rating: M Characters: Xu Mo/Reader/Ares Word Count: 3391

Tags: 3P. Kissing. Petting. Angst. Jealousy.

Notes: The spiritual successor to KISS. Ares from Chapters 20-24 and loosely inspired by this comic. Xu Mo before Chapter 13.

Summary: This was all Ares' fault. He enjoyed testing you too much and the friction between your two powers, or whatever he was experimenting with, transported the two of you elsewhere.

You've been through so much though that waking in a pocket dimension doesn't even phase you anymore. However, you certainly weren't expecting a certain someone from your past. To make matters worse, there's no way out and no clues except for a puzzling piece of paper.

Consciousness slips back into you and you stir on something slightly hard, but which doesn't feel like the floor either. The last thing you remember was trying to tear apart the dark thread in the white of your mind when you felt the tide of Ares' power come towards you.

Then there was the sound of something shattering and then... nothing.

You gather your hands beneath you, ready to push yourself up, when you hear your name.

Turning your head your breath catches at the achingly familiar sight of Xu Mo in his white coat across the room. His eyes, looking like dabbed ink, gaze at you with concern.

"Xu---" You start to rise, the syllables of his name flowing off your tongue naturally as if you had never stopped saying his name. But you don't get to finish before you feel a leather-clad hand grip your nape and press you down tightly into the chest below you.

"Surname Xu..." The cool voice that slides into your ear is stripped of emotion and that's precisely what makes your hair stand on end. The hand on the back of your neck slides around to grip your chin and, as Ares sits up from beneath you, he angles your head up to bring you face-to-face with him. Frozen ink-purple eyes bore into you. "The person most important to you?"

"Remove your hand."

Ares' eyes slice over to Xu Mo and the two of them pause for a second, a flicker of surprise appearing and then being suppressed when they take in each other's appearance.

"Ares, let go." Your words come out even and coated in steel.

He returns his focus to you and you see contemplation give way to mirth in his eyes. He removes his hand from your chin and gets up in a smooth motion, half-carrying you to your feet.

Before you can move anywhere though you feel his gloved hand on your head, stroking your hair down to the back of your neck where it rests again. The gentle pressure is more than enough to hold you in place.

Xu Mo watches this whole interaction in silence before his eyes move back to yours and he asks softly, "Who is this?" But you have a feeling he already knows the answer.

"... This is Ares. Ares, this is Xu Mo."

Ares starts to laugh lowly, the amusement in his eyes growing, and inclines his head towards you. "Xu Mo, ah, Xu Mo... Someone from your past?"

Xu Mo stills.

You press down on the flinch that wants to break out. You already feel like Ares can see through you on normal days, but now it feels like he's split you open with a scalpel and is scrutinizing the intimate, bruised, and soft core of you which you wished he'd never see. This pulsing core which told you quietly whenever Ares was near that he wasn't him. He wasn't him and he would never be him.

You breathe in. Hold your breath. Then release it before asking, "What do you last remember, Xu Mo?"

His expression is shuttered. "We celebrated my birthday."

You close your eyes. Nostalgic memories, which seem to have happened ages ago, are revived in your mind. An entire expanse of starry sky stretching out above your heads. Warm hands holding yours. Foggy breaths mixing in a hushed silence. Snowflakes on eyelashes.

The person in front of you isn't the one you're looking for either. How ironic that in this moment, which is removed from space and time, you're still the one who is out of place.

Sorrow is like a tide around your legs. Some days it's higher and some days it's lower. Right now it's up to your waist and its pull threatens to knock you over and drag you under its waves. But you still struggle to go against it.

"Did you ever visit me in a hospital when I was with Li Zeyan?" You open your eyes and ask this.

"Li Zeyan...?" Xu Mo frowns, looking puzzled.

So, this is a Xu Mo before that fateful day when you found out the truth about him. Phantom pain prickles on your neck and you have to resist the urge to touch it and make sure you aren't bleeding.

"You're from another time," Xu Mo says it as a statement.

"... Mm."

You see him examine you and you try not to imagine the picture you must make with Ares. Both of you are clad in black while Xu Mo is in white. It might have been funny if you didn't already know that what lurked beneath Xu Mo's pleasant mask is an echo of the man beside you.

"She's not from mine either. Quite special, isn't she? The one and only Black Swan Queen," Ares interjects conversationally.

It's at this point that you step forward, shaking off Ares' hand from you, and your look cuts over. "Don't call me that."

He smiles blandly but his lack of further action shows that he's accepted your warning for what it is. He knows you hate to be called that title.

Xu Mo's eyes flicker, "What are you using her for?"

"Do you even need to ask? Exactly what you would be using her for," Ares answers and his smile blooms like a poisonous flower, beautiful but deadly.

"I'm cooperating willingly," You correct.

Xu Mo looks at you and you hold his stare.

"I don't agree with him. I don't agree with you either. But if I can lower the number of people who would get hurt then I can't stand aside and do nothing."

Memories of that coliseum and the cries, yells, screams, and the iron scent of blood and wetness on your hands crowd into your mind. Long practice had you shoving those memories out in a blink.

"What happened?" Xu Mo asks though as if he sees through you just as Ares does.

His gentleness nearly breaks you but you shake your head.

Xu Mo falls silent for a beat before he speaks again, directing his words this time to Ares, although a strange expression crosses his face as he says the name. "Ares, she's more important than you know. You see it too, don't you? Continue on as you are and it'll just dim more."

His words make no sense to you but when you look over to Ares you see the ruthless ice in his eyes crack for the first time and a fine tremble runs through his arms before he clenches his fist to restrain it. The creak of leather is loud in the quiet of the room.

"What do you know?" Ares' voice is flat but echoes with violence.

The smile that appears on Xu Mo's face is like an unsheathed blade. "Do you even need to ask?"

Ares raises his hand---

That's when you step in physically, looking between the two of them. "Stop! We should be looking for a way out of here, not fighting each other."

Xu Mo slides both of his hands into the pockets of his coat and inclines his head to you with a kind smile, "You're right. I'm sorry."

Ares only lowers his hand after he sees Xu Mo's actions. His lips twist down into a second of a frown before he makes a demand to you. "Come here."

You ignore him though, much to Xu Mo's soft laughter. Having gotten both of their agreements not to fight, you break away to explore the room. It's a disorienting pure white which would normally make you lose your bearings but, for some reason, you can still see the walls and corners of the room which gives it a sense of dimension. However, there's no doors, windows, or anything to give you a clue as to how to get out.

Xu Mo and Ares are doing their own exploration, the two of them keeping a pointed distance away from each other with you in the center, but it doesn't look like they've found anything either.

Just as you're about to wonder if you and Ares need to re-create the circumstances that brought you two here you step on something that crinkles.

"I found something!" You exclaim as you bend down to pick up the piece of paper that was also pure white and had blended into the floor until you stepped on it.

Both of them come beside you when you turn the paper over and discover that there's writing on this side.

"Everyone must agree on one thing...?" You read it out loud, puzzled. "Isn't that easy? We all want to get out of here and go back to where we were, right?"

Xu Mo hums thoughtfully from your right. Ares is silent on your left. You wait a few seconds for something to happen but nothing does.

"Um... why isn't anything happening?"

Ares chuckles and then raises an eyebrow when you look over. "Shouldn't you ask yourself that? Do you really wish to go back? Or perhaps you secretly want to stay here with him."

You cross your arms and ignore how defensive that makes you look. "You're one to talk. I'm sure you don't want to pass on this chance to pick Xu Mo's brain."

If one genius was already terrifying in all his forms then what would the two same geniuses do together? Fortunately, you're a bit relieved that, for some reason, the two of them were antagonistic towards each other from the start.

Ares looks over your head to Xu Mo on your other side. "I won't deny that."

You follow his line of sight to Xu Mo, who casts his eyes down. His eyelashes cover the emotions in his eyes. "To be honest, I'd like to know more about what happened to you." Between us goes unsaid.

"Is there a point? We don't even know if we'll keep our memories of this place," You say with a laugh to cover how you press your arms tighter into yourself.

Xu Mo raises his eyes and something surges within their depths as he looks at you. He reaches out and brushes the back of a finger against the corner of your eye and down your cheek. You reflexively blink at the action. You aren't crying. You know you aren't crying right now. But why does it feel like he's tracing the trail of tears you spilled before?

Your careful expression collapses and you don't know what sort of face you have, but it makes Xu Mo pull you into his arms and then you're enveloped in his embrace. The faint scent of grasslands after a rain shower reaches your nose and it's this familiarity which makes your eyes burn.

He wasn't him. But he was close. An earlier shade of the man you know and miss even after everything that happened between you two. The man who would cut you to pieces at a conference, but also take you back to his home for one last movie together.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Xu Mo murmurs beside your ear. He pauses for a moment before sighing lightly, "But I'm sorry."

"No you aren't," Your response is muffled due to his shirt and the sting in your nose.

His chest vibrates against you from his silent laugh. "I won't regret my actions, no, but I can regret whatever pain it brings to you."

Xu Mo presses his lips against the crown of your head and closes his arms around you tighter. In your head, you tell yourself that you can have this one moment. If, like you said, no one will have memories of this place then you can indulge in his words and this dream, can't you?

Ares cuts in just as you're about to hug Xu Mo back. "I know what we can all agree on."

You startle in Xu Mo's arms, having forgotten Ares' presence for a second with how quiet he had been. You look over your shoulder to see him studying the two of you with unreadable emotions in his eyes.

But then he looks to Xu Mo and the corners of his lips rise into a challenging smirk. "Well?"

Xu Mo appraises Ares before he squeezes you gently and laughs. "Yes, of course I'd agree to this."

You can't read the undercurrent of conversation between the two and can only look back and forth in confusion. In fact, it sounded as if there was another meaning to Xu Mo's words. What is everyone going to agree on? Why are they suddenly so cooperative?

~~~

Some time later, you're still not sure how you got into this situation and what it has to do with getting out of this room.

You're in Ares' lap, facing him. The floor beneath him is covered by both his and Xu Mo's jackets and the white and black fabric mix together to provide a fascinating contrast. Not that you can appreciate it right now as lips trail down your neck and, despite their coolness, Ares' breath is hot when it spills over your skin. Your hands, which are gripping his shoulders, tremble and you struggle to find your voice.

"Wait, wait, I'm still confused. How is this going to get us out?"

"We can all agree that you're special," Xu Mo answers from behind you in a low voice beside your ear.

"And---" Your breath stutters when he splays a hand over your rib cage and his thumb brushes the underside of your breast. "---if I don't agree?"

"Then I suppose we'll have to get you to agree to wanting this," Ares is the one who answers this time before he raises his head and kisses you.

His tongue pries into your mouth with an indomitable force and his hand, ungloved now, grips the back of your head to keep you in place. It's an oppressive and dizzying kiss, stealing your senses and trying to ensnare your soul, and even when you reflexively push against him for air he doesn't let up. He angles the kiss deeper, laying claim to everything inside your mouth with his tongue.

Finally, when he releases you and you fall backwards into Xu Mo's chest, shoulders heaving as you pant, Ares raises a thumb to wipe the wetness on his lips. His eyes are dark to the point where you can barely see a hint of purple in them.

Before you can react further though, your head is suddenly turned to the side with a light hold on your chin and Xu Mo kisses you.

He caresses your lips gently with his, soothing their raw state from Ares' pressure, and doesn't push any further, just brushes his lips over yours again and again and again until you reach back to curl a hand around his nape and pull him into a kiss. You feel a smile against your mouth before he obliges you and deepens the kiss.

His tongue strokes lightly against yours and the tenderness ignites a slow warmth at the pit of your stomach. You clench your legs instinctively and hear a low grunt from Ares; but soon enough Ares reaches behind you to pull at the laces of your dress. You break away from Xu Mo's kiss to gasp, but he immediately presses forward to seal your lips together again, swallowing your surprise.

He only pulls back enough to murmur, "Breathe through your nose," a smile in his voice, before he kisses you again. You feel one of his hands cup your cheek, fingers curling to brush against the sensitive skin behind your ear, and you lean into him with a tremor.

It's only when his other hand on your rib cage moves up to cup your breast, making you instinctively arch into that gentle touch, that you realize you're bare up there. The laces of your dress had been undone by Ares and, at some point, the top had pooled down to your waist. Embarrassment mixes with the haze of pleasure, but you're unable to do anything but close your eyes at Xu Mo's caresses.

He ends the kiss and turns his head to the side slightly, leaving you to breathe raggedly against his cheek, and watches Ares.

"Bright, isn't it?" Xu Mo asks.

Ares moves his gaze off of your chest with what seems like effort to glance at Xu Mo. "Are you trying to change my mind?"

"Would you change your mind?" It's a rhetorical question which they both know the answer to. "I'm simply providing you with all the facts so that you can make an informed decision."

A muscle jumps in Ares' cheek before he chooses to keep silent and slides the hand he has on your thigh up, dragging the hem of your dress along with his movement, until your underwear comes into view.

This snaps you out of your daze and you seize Ares' wrist with a hand. He stills beneath your touch and his eyes flash towards yours, brimming with something dark and heavy.

"Shhh," Xu Mo soothes you, feeling you tremble under the weight of Ares' eyes, and then his voice becomes firm when he calls out to his other self. "Ares."

Ares' shoulders twitch at hearing his name in that tone and he closes his eyes tightly, creating a deep furrow between his brows, before he sighs and draws back the hand in your grip and flips his hand around so that he's holding yours instead. Before you can react, he then brings your hand to his groin and presses it against an obvious hardness.

Your gaze flies up from your joined hands to his and you stop breathing when you see the ice in Ares' eyes thaw, revealing hints of a lost look in the depths of those dark purple lakes.

Ares releases his hand from yours, letting you decide whether to keep it there or not, and wraps both arms around your waist before he lowers his head to press it into your sternum. You feel his lips move against your skin more than you hear him say in a hoarse voice, "Don't reject me this time."

Neither of the men move as they wait on your decision. Xu Mo is a quiet and calm presence behind you with both hands having dropped to your hips, below Ares' arms, and drawing calming circles there. Ares keeps his embrace tight but not painful and he just breathes against you, forehead pressed to your chest.

Behind you is the man that he once was. In front of you is the man that he could have been. You might have tried to delude yourself with reasons and justifications for why you're with Ares or why you let them continue to this point, but you know the truth. The answer in your heart is that no matter the world, the time, the form, all these versions of him were still him and somehow, before you knew it, his soul and your soul had been bound together forever with a red string.

Emotions really did cause people to fall into traps. But it was much too late for you and him to escape this emotion called love. Closing your eyes, you let yourself go and free fall.

Feeling your body relax, Xu Mo exhales a hot breath against your ear --- Ares exhales a hot breath against your chest --- and you feel Xu Mo's hand move down --- and you feel Ares trail his lips to the swell of a breast --- Xu Mo slides his fingers beneath your underwear --- Ares wraps his mouth around a swollen tip --- Xu Mo grazes your wet and aching core and then---

---you wake up in a bed.

You stare up at the white ceiling, feeling your head pound with a sudden onset of fatigue, but your body is flush with arousal and you can still remember what had nearly happened. Turning your stiff neck, you see that you're in a hospital room, which doesn't help orient you at all.

Did you return with Ares? Or are you some place else?

Suddenly, you feel a presence outside the room. There's a knock on the door and then a familiar voice which you had just heard seconds ago asks, "Are you awake? May I come in?"

[akumastrife]

Atlas, Crumbling :: Strifehart Week 2019

Late as usual but hey at least I showed up!  Title: Atlas, crumbling Word Count: 2.6k Rating: T Prompt: Seven Deadly Sins

{Also on AO3}

Life was hard—it hadn’t always been, but it got hard early enough that really that was all Leon remembered. Life was hard, being orphaned was hard, being swept up from his home and his life and his entire world was hard enough that he wasn’t sure he’d ever recover (not that he gave much thought to that.)

Everything was hard, felt like it always was and always would be, no matter how hard he tried, so why shouldn’t this be too?

He didn’t even know what this was. Just a brush of fingers, a glance, a silent tilt of Cloud’s head that beckoned Leon to follow. And he does. Wherever.

Anywhere.

Too desperate for… what? Company? A quiet presence who had even a sliver of an idea of what it was like to have everything be hard all the goddamn time? Someone to take the lead, so he could just rest?

Maybe that was greedy. Selfish, to try to make someone else shoulder his burdens. Lazy, when there was still so much to do to repair all the damage that had been done. (To Radiant Garden, but sometimes when he talked about it, Aerith looked at him like he should be focusing that effort inward instead. But the chasm of darkness that teamed under the bright light in his heart was too much to even think about wading through. He feared venturing too far in the shadows, without someone to pull him back out.)

But Leon… Leon’s so tired.

Maybe that was why it was so easy to fall into Cloud’s arms when his hand reach for him in dark doorways and practice arenas. Maybe it’s that his hands are as scarred as Leon’s. His hands are stronger—have to be, to carry that sword and those dark memories and at the very least hold Leon himself up—but sometimes they shake when they touch Leon. And if Leon looks in his eyes, they shine blue and bright and ashamed, mirroring Leon’s guilt right back.

But then, Cloud’s hands shook a lot. Tifa worried it was because Cloud was still sick, still touched and bruised by darkness. Maybe she was right.

They shake now, too. Cloud curls his fingers tight and fast against his palm. Tifa catches it first, but Leon isn’t far behind. It distracts him from Yuffie’s reports on the town’s defenses.

What? he wants to ask, but can’t, because Tifa beats him to it.

“Cloud?”

“Nothing,” Cloud says. It’s a lie, and a good one, but maybe he’s gotten worse at it over the year, because Leon tracks the way his jaw tightens at the corner as he steps back from the table.

“Where do you think you’re going.” Leon doesn’t mean for it to come out accusing, but that’s just life. Hard. Difficult. One step to the right of what it should be.

“Out.”

Leon doesn’t have any claim to Cloud’s time, but he says, “You promised,” anyway, because Cloud’s eyes are blue and cloudy and haunted, and his shoulders are tense with coiling energy. He looks like smoke on a battlefield, poised for running.

Cloud frowns, clarity snapping his eyes bright again and his mouth flat. But it makes Leon relax anyway, because this is a Cloud he understands, this is Cloud upset and short with him.

“I know,” he says, low and acerbic, meant to be barbed and Leon breathes easier with the familiarity of it. He still leaves, but at least now Leon’s certain Cloud’s coming back.

Eventually.

Tifa shoots Leon a pointed look, sharp as a punch, and Leon can’t meet it, not today.

“Good work, Yuffie,” Leon says, even if the praise is awkward in his mouth. “We’ll pick this up tomorrow. I have some work in the borough.”

“Do you need—”

“No.”

He gathers his few things and his gunblade and heads for the boroughs, but doesn’t make it that far. He keeps finding other work to accomplish on the way over, other people who need help and other damaged sites that need to be either roped off as too dangerous or marked to be cleaned up later when they have a full team. They’re all distractions, anyway, and he knows that. Things to keep himself from thinking about Cloud, or the soft ways the girls look at Cloud. The way they coddle and love him, despite his flaws and his darkness.

That’s what stings most, he thinks. No, not a sting. It’s nothing so small. Rather, it’s like a stab of something cold and poisonous, spreading its effects slow and sick over time. That they reach for him even after he bites and yet—

But that’s the darkness talking, that’s what the heartless want him to feel; sometimes when it’s bad he thinks he sees twitching shadows at the corners of the street, gone before he can catch them.

It’s a dangerous feeling, one he shouldn’t have let grown, even if it blossomed unbeknown to him when he was lowest and couldn’t guard against it. But it’s taken root and he does his best to rip out every poisonous weed as it sprouts. Surely, surely, he’s not the only hero of light who has to battle the darkness every day. He can’t be. Even if some days he hardly feels like a hero at all. Just a man, trying his damnedest to rebuild a world he let fall—

(’you were a child!’

‘So is Sora!’)

—and earn back the light and love he’s supposed to be spreading.

It’s so hard, though, when he feels like he’s fighting a losing battle; when some days it’s not so different from a reoccurring nightmare where he’s standing, alone, in a canyon and surrounded by heartless. Just a writhing, endless wave of them. It feels like that now. No end in sight, only the endless gray expanse above him and darkness fanning out, out, out around him. His gunblade is heavy. Too heavy. He always drops it, fingers shaking. And in his own head there are never a pale pair of hands ready to grab them.

Leon comes to himself suddenly, dizzy, breathing too fast and unsure when he’d started. He’s in the crystal fissure, thankfully, so he allows himself to drop into a crouch and twist hands through his hair, holding on tight to ground himself as he gasps.

His panicked breathes echo too loud, but everything is echoed here in the crystal fissure, and maybe that’s why it brings him so much comfort. He doesn’t sound so alone, and here with the shining crystal faces that glow with their own mysterious light, his light is reflected back brighter than ever. It’s the last bit of hope in a destroyed world when he has nothing but the world itself.

It’s a harsh mirror he can’t face some days.

A third hand joins his, familiar but startling all the same, and tugs a little on his hair, and then one of his hands, pulling it away.

Cloud says nothing, but Leon can feel his displeasure anyway.

“What are you doing here?” he mutters.

“I thought you didn’t want me leaving.”

Leon scoffs; this isn’t what he meant—Cloud finding him mid panic attack—and they both know it. He collects himself quickly, scraping himself up from the floor where he’s spilled messy and toxic and vulnerable, and forces himself back into an approximation of his armored self. When he stands, he’s scowling, but Cloud doesn’t look any happier. That’s something at least.

They stand, two men fighting their own silent battles, and there’s an impulse somewhere to tell the other that they’re not fighting alone, but neither can voice it when it drips with hypocrisy.

Cloud never minds the quiet, he can weather uncomfortable silences better than anyone Leon’s ever known. But it only makes Leon itch for something he can’ quite name, so instead of scratching down to bone to find it, he pulls out his gunblade and swings.

Cloud blocks with a huff and a sharp clang, the strike of steel ringing enough to fill the cavern.

Somehow Leon breathes a little easier for this familiar dance. It can’t be anything else, the way they strike and dodge and parry. It’s well practiced, almost like the endless practice drills Cid used to run him through, except the dummy swings back and he could follow the pattern with his eyes closed.

It’s probably something like the meditation Aerith is always trying to sweet-talk him into, but this is better because it wears him down, it exhausts his muscles and wipes his mind clean and it’s something he shares with Cloud. They have such few things that can truly be called theirs.

He does close his eyes at some point, he’s not sure when, but suddenly Cloud breaks their routine, jostling his arm with an awkward block and numbness zings from Leon’s elbow to hand.

He drops his gunblade.

For a moment he’s knocked out of his body almost, the panic creeping back.

Cloud’s on him before he can open his eyes.

His back hits the wall, Cloud’s hands are pulling tight at his jacket, and he kisses with teeth like he’s trying to drag him back over some jagged cliff.

Leon exhales shuddering, all at once unable to remember when the last time he actually breathed was and how much easier it is with Cloud trading air with him, forcing him to inhale and exhale just as he forces a give and take in their kissing that leaves him weak in the knees. It’s just like a sparring session, except how it’s not nearly as practiced, and Leon always thinks, greedily, like he’s starving, how much more he’d like to perfect this part of their partnership.

A heated flush spreads under Leon’s skin, growing from a spark into something frantic. It’s like casting a spell, or drinking a potion. Because suddenly he’s awake again, he’s here and kissing back, his hands working finally to wrap around Cloud’s shoulders and pulling him in close. It becomes less like a battle, a spar, and something carnal and hungry and not unlike the brush of darkness itself. But not… not quite. He can never figure out what it is when they’re together like this, can’t think, can’t breathe unless Cloud is. It’s dark, but not like heartless, dark like embers. That’s as close as he can compare before Cloud is biting his lip and twisting a firm hand that still shakes around the back of his neck, and Leon’s hands are shaking too as they slide up into Cloud’s hair.

Don ’t go, don’t go, please don’t leave me.

Cloud bites his lip hard enough to make Leon hiss. It tastes a little like blood and thin patience worn threadbare. He wants more. He kisses harder, faster, pulls Cloud in until they’re flush and feverish and melting together in the heat of it. Until Leon can’t tell where he ends and Cloud begins and that’s all he’s ever wanted. Still he wants more, more, more. As much as Cloud will give him, and then a little more. Leon doesn’t need to think about anything else when he has this.

Cloud breaks the kiss. Beyond the regret Leon realizes he wasn’t breathing. He gasps, rattled and settled in equal measure.

“I promised,” Cloud says. It takes a moment for it to ping in Leon’s memory as a repeat from earlier. “I promised I’d stay until Radiant Garden was restored. And I will. But that doesn’t mean I don’t see you putting things off.”

Leon blinks. Surprised. He can say nothing to that because it’s not… untrue, but he hadn’t realized he’d been doing that until just now. Half-finished projects and slow progress explained away by technical difficulties and perfectionism.

“Whatever,” Leon whispers. He can’t meet Cloud’s eyes, and he tells himself it’s the proximity.

Cloud tsk’s. He leans in to steal another kiss that says more than words could.

“Not just about you,” Leon admits. His pride gnaws at him—snarls at him—his lion pendant burns against his skin with the shame of it.

“Tell me, then.”

“Hypocrite.”

Cloud snorts and knocks his fist against Leon’s shoulder, hard without being an insult.

It helps, but Leon still chokes on the words. Radiant Garden is all he has left. How sad. How pathetic. It seems like everyone has moved on somehow, or has found something else—someone else—and still, like a child, he has nothing but this world, broken and desolate. When it’s finished, when he’s given everyone back their world again and Cloud leaves him, what will he have?

It’s a selfish and paltry thought to have. So, he generally tries not to have it. But Cloud is asking, and Cloud should know, but he’s never been quite sure how to say it.

Selfish.

Greedy.

He shakes his head against the whispers. Cloud’s fair brows are furrowing, Leon can feel it.

He’s taking too long, but Cloud could always out-wait him. Finally, he says, “Ever feel like it’s just easier to get…”

“Angry?” Cloud finishes.

Leon nods, eyes cast elsewhere even though he’s seeing nothing but the general atmosphere. Sees the unfocused outline of Cloud in all black and still pressing close, blocking off his escape routes. If he even wanted them—he’s not the one between them who bolts like a rabbit. “Yes,” he answers, quiet enough it’s barely more than a sigh. The cavern seems to echo it back to him. “There’s something to be done with anger, not… anything else.”

“The darkness whispers to me, too,” Cloud says. So, so quiet, so pained Leon nearly doesn’t understand him. It costs him to admit it, but he’s offering it anyway. “Louder than yours, I bet. Why do you think I spend so much time away?”

Leon snorts. Jerks his head in a clumsy gesture of affection, knocking his chin into Cloud’s cheek. “Because you can’t stand us. Because you’ve got so much history on your shoulders you can’t handle any glimmer of a future.” He can’t help sounding bitter. It’s his own insecurities, but they bubble up like stomach acid, bottled in for so long it’s like it’s been shaken to vitriolic, his tongue turning as sharp as a blade. “Because you don’t… I don’t know, Cloud. I really don’t. Some days we’re like… like this, and the next you can’t seem to stand to look at me. Forgive me for getting ideas. This is one of the only—the only good things I have left, and I can’t even have that.”

Surprisingly, Cloud only barks a laugh and bumps their foreheads together. Harder than Leon would like, but maybe as hard as he needs to be knocked out of his own spiraling.

“Ow.”

“Don’t be a baby.”

Leon glares at him, pulling his face back away from Cloud just enough to do it properly. No farther. Because he doesn’t want to and Cloud has a hand so tightly around his arm that he thinks Cloud’s trying to keep them both from running off.

Cloud sweeps his thumb over Leon’s arm, stuttering and awkward, but his chin set mulish as he does it anyway. “I leave when the whispers aren’t whispers anymore. Merlin always says that darkness is attracted to the brighter lights. And the darkness is always louder around you. Sometimes it’s deafening.”

Leon blinks.

He looks away.

“Sounds exhausting,” he mumbles.

“So does carrying an entire town,” Cloud says back.

They’re circling around too many things and too many confessions unsaid and too many feelings thrown messy onto the floor between them with no explanation. But then, these things are never easy, and nothing worth having is.

Leon flicks an uncertain look back to him. “It… is,” and his voice cracks.

[lgcsol]

replies: sports meme.

meme replies for the side event: lgc sports festival. questions are taken from this post. word count: attached to each. point distribution: +3 variety, +3 modeling.

archery: what are your long-term goals in life? where do you see yourself in 10 years? 20 years? — asked by @lgcjude​.

long-term goals in life? definitely cannot be divulged in full-force considering his familial background. he fears too many things at once, maybe for things that aren’t supposed to be feared. they are almost too paranoid, vulnerable. questionable at the same time, too. the fact that he dislikes being seen as a boy coming from affluence has always been the certain weight that he’s been carrying since he was signed as a trainee. it’s the trepidation over having people believe that he’s sponsored, whatever that means. that he might be standing on top of his career due to his background instead of his hard work. sure, he couldn’t have been here with the skills he has without his mother’s support, but doesn’t mean that he rode the whole stratification to climb the industry. and still, to answer this question honestly would mean that he’d have to talk about his background a bit. “ah...” he trails off, a ghost of distant memories passing. “i want to be someone that would make my mother proud.” looks down, smiling slightly. “in ten years, i’m hoping to get somewhere in the creative industry, but also to have finished my tertiary education too, since i’m taking a leave for the time being. by then, my expectation is to become someone with a name written as a true performer, with professionalism. in twenty? i still don’t know, to be honest.” he chuckles. “i do have some things i’d like to patch up, things i’m lacking in, so i’m going to try and mend those before i hit... well, forty, if my math is correct.” — 267 words.

basketball: what do you find hardest when it comes to working in a team? — asked by @lgcyonghwa​.

this one doesn’t take him aback. of course, he’d be asked about this since he’s always going to work in teams even when the marking is individualistic; being in an idol group in the perceived future would mean being cohesive together, requiring him to become a strong team player to make the entire uniformity possible. back then, he’d worry. he used to be more competitive, keeping his skills for himself, thinking it would be crucial for him to outshine everyone. while it isn’t untrue in most cases, since this industry and the company will debut only the best out of the options, he doesn’t find it as cut-throat. he’s been more open about teamworks, helping others get through their difficulties. envy is not something that he holds onto that much anymore, as he’d rather channel the energy somewhere else, like ensuring that he stands straight, shoulders squared. he doesn’t have to outshine everyone in the room, just enough to ensure his safety. and thus, he doesn’t need to see everyone as competitors. at that, steering back to the main lane of thoughts, he carefully tries stitching up an answer. “i think it might be hard to deliver the thoughts, sometimes. it’s so easy to have misunderstandings within teams, and if we’re not being clear with our messages, it’s so easy to fall into that slippery slope. mismatched goals would be the worst in a team, i think, yet at the same time i still find it difficult for me to say what i want to say.” he shrugs. “that’s common, though, so i’m working towards being a better team member.” — 270 words.

esports: how do you go about solving a problem? — asked by @lgcxking​.

problems are often trivial for him, in many cases. back then, it would be the fact that he did not think the coaches would like him enough, confidence in singing and dancing something that he needed working on until he reached his first year. he wasn’t always the one grinning this widely, putting the whole belief within the contexts of his performances. for now, he understands that he’s not shabby in both, and the trainers have seen him improve all these years, so that’s not the kind of problem he’d address in this question. instead, he mulls over more choices. personal disturbances are definitely nothing he would ever divulge to the public, reserved for select few people only. running a hand through his purposefully unkempt hair, he hums as he thinks of a good answer. “i think it depends on the kind of problem, of course,” he starts vaguely. “i’d resort to being calm as a starter, since panicking doesn’t typically solve anything for me. i don’t panic a lot... wait, no, i do — i just internalize that a lot, but that doesn’t mean i let it get under my skin, the urge to just, you know, go haywire with the situation. if the problem is dire, i’d go through my options, and choose the most logical, unless my gut feelings tell me otherwise. sometimes i go with my guts, and sometimes with logic. again, depends. i’m a bit... slow in making decisions sometimes because i want to project the outcome first and shift through my options before putting the verdict out.” — 262 words.

hurdles: what has been the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome in life so far? — asked by @lgcxking​.

there’s a singular, straight answer to this. it has nothing to do with being an idol, it has nothing to do with even his relationship with his father. the struggles to reach the stardom, as well as the fissures within the connection that has been malfunctioning since the very beginning — they’re nothing compared to this. the loss of a mother who succumbed to something so ominous is still beyond his capabilities to handle, even after years. yet he plasters a stagnant expression, showing little to no interest towards the display of sorrow. his inner calamities are schooled down to a t, strictly managed. after all, he’s been doing this, donning a cover for so long. but this time, his guts tell him to be open, for once, just to alleviate the burden that has been dragging him down, anchoring his chest to the ground. “i would say the hardest thing in my life is when my mother passed,” he says, swallowing hard. “she was my role model, someone closest to me.” and his throat feels parched. sure, he’s not about to cry or anything, but it’s still heavy. “but instead of looking at it as something negative, i’ve been trying to see it in a more positive light. her passing actually shaped me to be more independent, and most importantly, to chase after my dreams, no matter what. i think it gives me bravery, even when she’s been gone for over five years now.” — 244 words.

gymnastics: what is the image you’d like others to have of you? — asked by @lgctaewoo​.

the image he’d like to project, to say the least, would be plenty. it’s ever-changing, shifting on and on to a point where sometimes he doesn’t recognize his face in the mirror anymore. it’s almost a common occurrence for him, considering the childhood inflicted on him by his father, all proper and prim for the face of the family business. he behaved according to the mold, he really did. it’s incredible how far such things have shaped him thus far. his father, after all this time, did not train him in vain. instead, his father has accidentally groomed him to be this perfect adobe, merged to the ideals that he’s imposed on himself. a smile, pleasant. he’s always been wearing that in spite of anything that happens in his life, as if everything he’s been going through is nothing if not a casual intervention, a background noise. “i want to be seen as... human,” he says after seemingly contemplating the right answer for a moment. “the fact that i can be sad even when i look happy all the time, i think it’s important that people recognize the balance. if it’s the image that needs to be pursued while being an idol, i want to be seen as honest, too.” sure, he’d be honest on the surface. the rest is a matter of how good of a liar he can be— “i want to be seen as someone morally aware, someone who can stand up for justice, yet also admit his wrongdoings. learning and growing from the mistakes, too. i want to be seen as humane as possible, capable of making mistakes, which is inevitable. i want to be seen as someone willing to grow, too.” — 286 words.

relay: what qualities do you need to see in someone else to feel like you can trust them? — asked by @lgcxking​.

there are inevitable thoughts flitting through his mind when it comes to this kind of question. sure, hansol knows the answer too well, but he’s grown far too calculative to be honest with the answer. almost manipulative in nature, even when he doesn’t want to concede to its definition. it’s just self-preservation, he believes, since the people in this industry, in general, do not have to meddle with his business. and so, he doesn’t feel the need to be brutally true to begin with, and therefore, the façade of the happy-go-lucky jeon hansol was constructed. this question is by no means of an exception to it. he can be partially honest, and that’s what he chooses to be. “ah,” he looks up, thinking. “i believe there are plenty of them, many would be cliché too, but the most important thing for me to see in someone else, in order to trust them? it must be the fact that they can keep secrets. pretty straightforward, right? i don’t think people would trust anyone who likes to talk badly about them when they have trusted the person with their deepest secrets. another quality is perhaps... shared traits with me? i’m an introvert as well, so having a fellow introvert might make me relate better to them, and eventually trust them.” — 218 words.

[justreadingfics]

Looking For a Heartbeat (2/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to be in a relationship. Feelings were hurt, you left. It’s been two years and you’re back. You both will handle the reunion well, won’t you?

Chapter Summary: You two have a small interaction. Steve’s back. You don’t want to stop helping Bucky, even if he doesn’t know a thing. How long will you be able to keep the control of the situation?

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings for this chapter: angst, past break-up, unresolved feelings nightmares.

 A/N: Here’s chapter two. The idea came from this anon request which has been waiting on my ask box since forever: Do you still do requests? I really want a story where the reader has F.R.I.D.A.Y. wake her up whenever Bucky has nightmares so she can calm him down and Steve finds out. @lesqui Ily.

Please, let me know what you think.

Part 1/Part 2/ Part 3 

Masterlist.

 You hated parties. So much. Yet, there you were. The voice of your grandfather echoed in your mind, telling you that going to events, socializing, and making contacts were an essential part of the job. “Kicking some asses isn't all this is about, pumpkin,” he used to say.  You remember going with him at very early age, having to memorize the name of all the big players and how each of them could be beneficial to SHIELD.

The perks of being raised by one of the founders of the powerful organization. Even years after his death, you couldn’t help but following his lead, not missing one single event like the one you were at now.

Leaning on the balcony, you took a sip of your champagne, scanning the place, identifying at least a dozen of people you would have to socialize with before the end of the night.  

However, before you got into action, your gaze landed upon him. Bucky Barnes. The former Winter Soldier. Four spots away from you at the bar, asking for a drink of his own. You wondered what Steve had to do to drag him there. Since he got to the team, he had been keeping to himself, interacting with almost nobody, except Steve and occasionally Sam.

You knew the famous brainwashing wasn’t a problem anymore and he’d been doing well on the missions he had been assigned to, but your efforts on exchanging a bit more than the good mornings and hellos with him, it was to no avail.

The man intrigued you. Not to mention he was hot as fuck. Considering the two samples you worked with, the 40’s should have been a damn good decade to live in.

You were taking another sip of your glass when he inadvertently turned his face to you, catching you gawking. You quickly moved your gaze to your front. But your eyes were also quick on betraying you, seeking for him again.

And then you saw something you had never seen him doing before: he was smiling. Bucky Barnes was fully turned to your direction and sporting a small, yet gorgeous smile on his beautiful mouth. The man who hadn´t acknowledged your existence so far was aiming the sweetest of smiles at you.

You felt a broad grin of your own tugging at your lips and some weird fluttering feelings taking over your stomach.

Oh, shit... this can’t be good.

~~~

Why is the fucking kitchen so far fucking away? The thought pops into your mind while you drag your feet to said kitchen, aiming to fill your empty whining stomach, hoping to be lucky enough and find nobody there. You haven´t managed to sleep for a single minute since the night before. The moments with Bucky and the last words he said before you dashed out of his bedroom ended the possibilities of you having any kind of rest, as you kept reliving them in your mind.

I’m sorry…I’m sorry…

They weighed over you, over your heart especially, bringing out emotions and feelings you thought you had done a good job on burying inside the depths of you. It isn´t so, apparently, for those simple words were enough to erase two years of your life. Two years of running away, two years of forgetting. Or trying to.

You wonder if you really made the right call on coming back. Being away seems a very good and reasonable decision now, why did you have to go and change your stupid mind? You take a deep sigh, pushing the kitchen´s door open. You know damn well why you changed your mind-

“Good morning, sunshine.”

Of course luck wouldn´t be your friend that morning. “Morning, Nat…” you murmur, “Sam...Wanda…” you nod to the other only two occupants of the table, who wish you their mouthful “good mornings” as you walk to the coffee machine and help yourself with a cup of strong espresso, before joining the group.

“Okay,” Natasha drags the word after a moment of the three of them staring at you, while you fill your plate with some of the eggs and bacon from the pan on the table, “what exactly ran over you last night?”

You let out a bitter laugh, you surely look like shit after the hell of a night you had, “Like I´m the only one here with sleeping troubles every now and then.”

Wanda and Sam shrug and keep eating, finding no lies in what you said, while Natasha smirks, “I missed you. Thought two years away from us, simple avengers, would change you. I´m glad it didn´t.”

“I don´t think simple is the word you looking for, Tasha,” You don´t have to force the smile curling up your lips. You´ve missed everybody, but Wanda and Natasha would always hold a special place in your heart. Your little squad, having your back no matter what.

“All right, but the real question is: to what do we owe the honor of having the illustrious director of the infamous European branch of new SHIELD among us?” Sam says the words with mocked drama, wiggling his brows and imitating quotations marks over  new for the effect.  

You roll your eyes at the remark, “They hate you call them that, you know?” You swallow your coffee and sigh after he chuckled and kept looking at you, waiting for a response. Apart from Steve, Wanda and Natasha, It hasn´t been so hard to avoid explaining to the rest of team the circumstances of your presence since the beginning of the week, considering the come and go due to missions and personal matters, like the long delayed honeymoon of Tony and Pepper. You guess you can’t avoid it any longer, “Ahm, it´s former director, actually. I’ve resigned.” You smile tightly at him, “I’m back to stay.”  Your both hands firmly hold the cup in front of you.

His jaw drops and a sound, which you can’t distinguish between a scoff and a genuine laugh, comes out of his lips. You raise a brow at him, as Natasha keeps her classical unperturbed expression and Wanda takes a nonchalant sip of her milk. His gaze switches between you three, “Are you serious?” he asks, at last.

“Yup”, you shrug, gulping down some eggs and hoping for the miracle of not having to discuss the matter any further.

“What the hell happened? This was all you ever talked about ever since I met you.”

You’re taking a breath to face the questions, when the miracle you were hoping for happens in the form a sexy former assassin.

“Ok, Wilson, enough of bacon and chit-chat. You’ve been successfully dodging from that sparring session with me for too many times, now.” Natasha snaps out of her seat, dragging Sam with her by the collar.

As relieved as you are, you know Sam isn’t stupid to fall for that, but, lucky for you, he’s also the most comprehensive motherfucker you know. He swallows back whatever he really wants to say and goes along, “I’m glad you’re back anyway. We really missed you.” He pats your shoulder before being drifted out of the room.

You can’t help a small smile to cross your face at his consideration in leaving the subject behind. Or for later, if you really knew him. Shaking your head slightly, your gaze falls upon the up till now silent Avenger in the room, who is smirking at you, with her arms folded in front of her.

“What?” Your eyes narrow at Wanda.

“You know what? You were right.” Her smirk grows bigger at your quizzically shrug, “All of us have trouble to sleep.” She elaborates, grabbing her cup and plate and turns her back to you, walking to the sink, “By the way, one nocturnal troublemaker in special is strangely still asleep this morning.”

You choke on your coffee. While she dries her hands using a dish cloth, you can’t see her face but you’re mostly certain she’s sporting one of her radiant full grins. If you can expect scolding and advices against what you did last night, you know you wouldn’t receive them from Wanda. She has always been the most supportive of you and Bucky and she was heartbroken with the break-up.  She used to say she shipped you two, or something like that.

Wanda walks back to you, stopping behind your chair and leaning down to wrap her arms around your shoulders. “I think what you’re doing is great. He hasn’t slept that well in…well, two years.”

Before you can respond in any way, she props a kiss on your cheek and is out of the kitchen in a swift move, leaving behind her a slightly lighter heart than the one which has entered the kitchen this morning.

~~~

The rest of your day consists on being in the main office, trying to catch up with what you missed these last two years concerning missions, team rearrangements, new additions and work methods… You have a lot to study and analyze, which you’re kind of thankful for, since locked inside a room alone, you don’t have to play the avoidance game you and Bucky have been engaging to this last week. Also, it’s always been easy for you to use work as a way to take him and everything concerning you both out of your mind, at least for a bit. Mission accomplished. You’ve successfully driven your mind away from him and haven’t seen Bucky the whole day.

Except the day isn’t over yet.

Late in the afternoon, a throbbing pain lodges in your head, and you decide to hit the gym and exhaust your body instead of your mind for a change and, hopefully, relax. Everyone usually does their work outs in the morning, before their day’s responsibilities, so you are pretty confident you’ll have the place all to yourself.

Just like you expected, you find yourself running on one of the treadmills with no one around. Earphones drumming your favorites beats in your ear, you keep speeding up, the endorphin rushing through your body, easing your headache and running down to your limbs.

The slowly shift from numbness to aching in your joints brought by the heavy exertion doesn’t stop you from accelerating even more, breaking a personal record. You’re drenched and panting when something catches your peripheral vision, right by the door, making you trip on your toes and hit straight to the ground.

You groan at the pang you feel in your ankle and bring your hand to cover your eyes, pulling your earphones with the other, tossing them aside, cursing at your clumsiness, trying to recover your breath, even through clenched teeth.

“Are you ok?”  

Fuck.

You open your fingers to see between them, meeting a pair of blue eyes hovering over you. The very same blue which has knocked you down all those years ago, and keeps making you trip on your feet.

As he stares at you, worry etched on his face, you incline yourself up, supporting your weight with your hands on the floor, as he crouches in front of you. “My right ankle,” it´s all you mumble, having almost completely forgotten about the pain.

Bucky then focus his gaze on your feet, and you try not to wince when he gently wraps his hands around your aching ankle. The touch is clinical as he assesses possible damages, but is incredibly soft and, as it has always been, even with the metal, it’s warm, subduing the ache right away. Goosebumps trails up your skin and his heat rolls off on your body in burning sparkles. It´s the first time he´s touching you after two years and all you can do is stare at him, and control yourself not to scream, run away or throw yourself at him and kiss him breathless.

His attention is stuck on where he´s touching you, “There´s no sign of trauma,” His voice is dry and contained.

Even if he isn't looking at your face, you nod and expect him to let go of you then. But he doesn't. Your breath hitches in your throat as his thumbs draw lazy circles on your skin. The touch is barely a brush, light and soft and you could retract yourself from it if you wanted.

But you don’t.

You’re frozen in place while your gaze follows his flesh hand when it unhurriedly slides up the back of your leg. You stop breathing altogether and he seems hypnotized by his own hand when it stops right in the middle of your calf. Your eyes flutter shut. It’s overwhelming, bringing you to old memories and new sensations. A simple touch and you´re a puddle on the floor, willing to drown into him again.

“Bucky...” you finally breathe through your daze.

Your voice calling his name seems to snap him out of his own stupor, because too soon his hands are out of your body and as you open your eyes, you face the hardening of his features, still not looking at you when he stands up promptly.

He offers you a helping hand, and when you´re up, it’s only a moment before he takes a safe step back, avoiding the closeness. “Are you ok to walk?”

You’re the one who avoids his eyes, when he finally looks at you. You nod, feeling the pain in your ankle easing down.

“Good. Some ice and anti-inflammatory ointment and you should be ok.” Just like that he’s out of the gym, apparently forgetting whatever he was going to do there.

The phantom of his touch still lingers while you gather your stuff and drag yourself to your room. You sigh deeply when you realize the simple truth: he left a longing plastered in your skin. An aching longing for more.  

~~~

Late that night you find yourself again in his bed, running a timid yet soothing hand over his chest and whispering calming words on his ear, after Friday gave you the warning.

Your mind can’t help but travel to the afternoon events. The tiny interaction may seem insignificant on the surface, but you how much it’s meant to you. He’s spent a whole week ignoring you, not talking to you, running from your presence, and you, mimicking his behavior perfectly, both experts on staying away from each other.

But then he touches you… and all you want is more. Damn with the past, damn with the mistakes, the bad decisions. The heartache. You want him. You want him to want you, to kiss you, to touch you, to…

“Y/N?”

The whisper makes you promptly turn back around to find Steve, in tactical uniform, standing by the bedroom’s door with an almost comical expression of confusion on his face. Bucky stirs by your side and you’re quick to put a finger over your lips, signing for Steve to be quiet.

He sighs and nods toward the front door, before walking away.

You take one last look at Bucky’s peaceful form and cautiously leave the bed to follow the Captain.

“What am I seeing here?” he whispers almost in a harsh way, turning to you with folded arms in front of him when you close the door behind you.

You stare at your fidgeting fingers and use the same low tone to answer him, “I just couldn’t leave him on his own, Steve.”

Looking up at him, you catch the sternness leaving his posture as he takes a deep breath and regards door behind you for a second, “Does he know?” His gaze travels to yours and you shake your head in response.  

You stare at each other, conversing through your eyes, like only two people who know, understand and nurture a deep love for the same person could. He´s the one to cut the silence, “He never goes back to sleep so peacefully, you know? When I’m the one in there.”

It’s so fucked up to feel good about the information, considering you´ve been away for so long, but knowing you´re still the only one able to take him out of his torment brings you a shameful sense of pride. And hope. You almost can´t help a small smile to shape your lips, so you decide to speak to hide it, “Did you just got here?” You point to his battered uniform.  

“Yeah, came straight here to check on him. He seems to be just fine,” he smirks “I worry, though. About both of you.” His eyes bores into yours, “Are you ready to deal with it? With him?”

The meaning behind his words makes your chest smaller and you take a minute before speaking again, not really answering his question, “I think he was dreaming about me, the first night…”

“Wouldn´t be the first time.”

You mimic Steve’s tightened lips before they start trembling, “He said he was sorry…” You swallow back tears, casting your eyes away and staring at the door.

Steve places a gentle hand on your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze and you look back at him.  

“I- I, wanna keep doing it. You said he usually doesn’t go back to sleep well. I wanna help him.” You grace your voice with resolve.

He removes his hand of your shoulder and contemplates you for a second, “You have to talk to him, though…Not just about this, but everything else.”

“I will, just… give me some time? Please?” You aim pleading eyes at him.

He nods and smiles softly when you let out the air stuck in your lungs. “Have I said I’m glad you’re back, already?”

You chuckle, pulling him for a hug. He hugs you back promptly and you’re so thankful for Steve Rogers. You know it’s been hard for him, too. Yet, there he is, supporting and offering his shoulder for you.  

“I´m starving, wanna go grab something with me in the kitchen?” He whispers softly, moving his hand in circles around your back.

You hear the silence inside the room before nodding and letting him pull you by the hand.

~~~

With Steve’s approval, having Friday waking you up becomes routine. It isn’t every night it happens, though, which is great for Bucky, but if you’re going to be honest, you long for the moment you can be close to him, talk to him, feel his body heat washing over your skin… He hasn´t spoken to you ever since that day in the gym, so you spent the days waiting for the nights.  

Steve´s been giving you the time you asked for, but you know the situation can´t be sustained for much longer. You need to talk to him, once and for all. You have to do it. Maybe tomorrow… or the day after tomorrow…

Tonight, Friday wakes you up later than usual and it takes longer for you to calm him down, due his agitated state. You hear him calling your name again, like it happened sometimes before, and you whisper you’re there, careful enough to get the message to his subconscious without waking him up.

You always leave when you’re certain he’s back to a peaceful state of mind, but maybe with the whole familiarity of the routine, you’re feeling dangerously comfortable and you´re not sure at what point you doze off tonight. All you know is the next thing you see is your hand laying upon an empty mattress.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Your heart rate rises when you follow the rusky voice. He´s plastered against the wall next to the bed, bare chest heaving and glossy eyes staring at you. You don´t miss his hands clenching when you move to sit on the bed.

Taking in a deep breath, you see no way out, before forcing a steady voice, “We need to talk.”

 ~~~

Part 3 

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[thebroodyelf]

Arcana

Being new to the fandom I enjoyed all of this very shady, funny, clever and smutty fanfictions & art pieces over here and on AO3 way too much. And of course I couldn´t hold back, the need to contribute something was too strong to resist ;´)

So... there´s going to be a fanfiction. Betareading´s still in progress, but anyways... Here is the first chapter.

1 What is this fiction?

It starts off with a retelling of Julian´s book VI, Gift and Curse/Laying low, BUT behold! It´s certainly not a mere written version of the events, no, as the story gets eely the plot is more and more altered, because Julian is Julian.

The apprentice in my version is called Octavia and yes, she has hit Julian´s head with the bottle in book I (in case you were wondering). And then there is a certain palace guard / Sherlock Holmes wannabe called Iuno. Things will get messy, I promise ^^

As I have played through book I to V and Julian´s book VII The Chariot only, you can witness my playing progress, for I´m going to weave it into this fiction. Have fun, hope you like it! 1

Portia: “Eh, yes, well here we are and you want to hear the story, right? It all started one night. Pepi and me, we were home. The palace gardens are nice and welcoming in the hot summer. All the birds chirping, telling their goodbyes to the sinking sun. Well. Guess you want to hear more about the palace´s secrets another time. But now, I´ll stick to Ilja´s story. Back then, he had just returned to Vesuvia. After the red plague he had been gone for quite a while... As far as I know, he intended to seek out Asra, a mighty magician of the city and a former lover of his. Hem. That particular night it all started, Ilja spent brooding about the past, standing at one of the aqueducts in the outskirts of the city…”

Gift and Curse

“Octavia?”

Surprise spreading over his face, Julian Devorak steps out of the dimness of their shady surroundings. He now stands at the edge of the aqueduct, a dark silhouette framed by the light of the moon. Behind him, the city towers like a behemoth, a chaotic sprawl of building stacked atop each other. In his hands is a mask with a long, curved red beak that he turns slowly, like he´s contemplating what to do with it.

“Octavia. Fancy seeing you here, hm? Out for a night walk?”

He sighs, gaze dropping to the reservoir pool below. The red of his coat reflects and refracts in the water, splashes of crimson dancing against each other.

“Me, I was just… thinking. Funny, fickle thing, life, isn´t it?”

Octavia looks up at the lanky doctor. “Should you be standing so close to the water?”

Her dark brown hair resembles molten chocolate in the strange light, her green eyes clearly show her worry.

With a nonchalant wave of his hand, Julian responds, lips twisted into one of his famous lopsided grins: “What, this water? It´s harmless, Octavia, or as harmless as it can be. It won´t do anything to me. Or anything to anyone, anymore. Sure, a few people might get sick if they go for a swim, but…”

He trails off, as his former trail of thoughts resurfaces. “Isn´t it a miracle? They went and figured it out. Or outlasted it. Wonder how they did it?”

A short pause follows, then he continues: “It´s no matter, I suppose. Life finds a way, doesn´t it? The plague is over. Ahhh. And so is my career, just like that.”

With a dramatic gesture Julian lifts the mask to examine it on eye level one last time. “Who needs a plague doctor if there´s no plague?”

Not far away, hidden behind a broken cart, a figure lurks in the dark, listening to the hushed voices. She had been waiting for a sign, apparently, for now she lifts her head with a small smile.

“Today is my lucky day… That is the killer, Countess Satrinava wants to be found.”

Iuno Aurelia gets up without making any noise. She is a palace guard and tonight, despite her usual, boring duties as such, she is on the hunt. It´s actually not her task. Being new in Vesuvia she had wanted to apply for the job, solve the mystery of Count Lucio´s death, become the greatest detective of all times, but somebody – a witch apprentice with a high reputation – had literally snatched it away right under Iuno´s nose. So much for interesting labour.

“Yet I am here, right in time.” Iuno makes a move and glides next to the cart. “And all it took were a stroll through the neighbourhood and my intuitioaaahrgh!!!”

Her foot rolls over a broken jug and she falls over. Above her head a raven lets out a ragged screech. “Shit!”

“Guards afoot, Octavia. Look lively! We´d best make tracks!”

Both leap into action at the same time, running further down the aqueduct to reach the street. The doctor gets there first, turning back to Octavia as she runs. Her foot slips on a wet stone, tumbling her backwards into the reservoir below.

“Octavia!!!”

With a loud splash the woman sinks like a stone. The doctor, shock painted all over his pale face, dashes back and grabs Octavia´s wrist in the last moment. With one strong pull he tugs her out of the water, a translucent creature attached to her belly. 

“A vampire eel?!!”

Iuno has still some distance to cover, before she can reach the two criminals. She cannot yet make out their faces in the dim light, but the sight of the undulating creature, translucent and now filling with a red shimmering fluid, causes her to hesitate in the chase.

“Vampire eel. Damn. That girl´s dead.”

If she concentrates, she can eavesdrop on the doctor, who gets a hold on the elusive creature´s head with quick, skilful moves.

“On the count of three”, he barks in his strange accent and then after counting “One. Two!” he pulls the eel off and tosses it back into the water. “Three. Up you go, then. Easy now. I´ve got you.”

A loud gasp for air is to be heard. The doctor half drags the sopping wet woman, as they run, leaving blood puddles behind. Iuno spins back into motion.

“I have to follow them! Catch the killer!”

The killer, who is just disappearing behind a gloomy street corner. When Iuno reaches the strange couple, the doctor is busy, seeing to the steadily oozing wound of the woman.

“The bleeding won´t stop. Damn”, he mumbles. He draws back with a look of displeasure and starts peeling off his gloves.

Iuno is torn between interrupting the hopeless attempt and witnessing the infamous arts of the doctor.

“Hold still.”

They don´t even notice their stunned observer.

“Deep breaths. This will only take a minute or two.

”Why are you helping me?”, the woman whispers. A pained groan follows. 

“She will live?!”, Iuno marvels. “How has he done it? Witchcraft?!”

“Shouldn´t I? You´re injured. Surely you don´t think I´ll let you bleed out on the street.”

“Ha! A noble murderer! How fascinating!”

Fascinating indeed. While the soft chatting continues, Iuno can make out a sudden glow radiating from under the skin of his throat. “A magical mark…”

Iuno is not familiar with that sort of magic.

“What in the Count´s name is going on?!” Time to intervene.

“Freeze!”, Iuno exclaims and sprints towards her prey. 

“Go, Octavia. You must leave me behind. It´s me they are looking for, not you.” With a weak gesture the doctor waves the woman off. 

Iuno decides to stay with the murderer. When the fleeing woman throws one last look over her shoulder, their eyes meet. “I will not forget you!”, Iuno shouts. Then she turns towards the doctor.

“As for you, doctor Devorak, I shall arrest you for the murder of… the murder…” For the first time the palace guard has a clear view on her target. Dumbstruck Iuno watches, as fresh blood blossoms under his clothing, his face a grimace of pain.

“A parting gift… Curse, to be more precise”, he explains with an exasperated sigh.

“You… How… Why?” The palace guard finds herself stuttering. She is not only confused by the expanding red glistering on the black and white cloths of the man before her. 

“I´m able to take away bodily wounds, as you can see.” Still not looking up, doctor Devorak directs his obvious self-disgust at his blood covered hands and clenches them into fists.

“And in return, I get to experience them for myself… ugh.”

Slender figure. Wild red locks. No eyepatch though, but there is no doubt. An almost forgotten memory overpowers the palace guard. Her fingers begin to tremble. That man. The wanted murderer of Count Lucio. She has met him before. 

“Damn!”, she curses under her breath.

The doctor sways forward, as blood is running freely down his torso now. “It won´t last. It never does”, he says more to himself than to the guard. “A curse from a witch that fears commitment.”

His face lightens up with a strange kind of bitter joy. “Then again, I´ve never been bitten by a vampire eel. This might be interesting.”

“Shut it, I´m not listening to such nonsense!”, Iuno orders. “What can we do against… this?”

She rushes to his side and helplessly presses her hands against the wound. The doctor blinks owlishly at Iuno.

“Eh…?”

“We need to stop the bleeding, right?”

With frantic moves, she fumbles a fine embroidered handkerchief out of her belt pocket.

“Here. I´m sorry. That´s all I´ve got.”

The doctor throws a slightly embarrassed side glance to the blood puddle forming under him on the cobble stones. “You´ve changed your tune. Don´t you want to arrest me anymore?”

The palace guard rolls her eyes. “Just tell me how to help!”

Iuno hears them coming a moment after he does. The Countess´s guards, doing rounds of the outer walls. Swiftly she ushers the wounded doctor into an ally nearby. They press against the wall to seek cover, involuntarily getting into each other´s personal space.

“This is ridiculous!”, hisses Iuno.

The moment the guards pass, they hold their breaths, hoping the well-trained eyes will slide over them in the darkness. This close, Iuno can see the pain painted on doctor Devorak´s face. His eye is fixed behind her, but as if he senses the gaze it moves to Iuno´s. For a moment they stare at each other.

“I… A-apologies…”

Just as he is about to say something else, they hear a thud from the entrance of the alley. “Not the time. Let´s go.”

Now it is the doctor, grabbing Iuno´s hand and tugging her out of the alley. They break into a run. The city passes them by in a blur as they evade capture, weaving around buildings with ease. They are moving so fast, Iuno almost misses it. There, nestled between two tall buildings… a garden. 

[coleymari-blog]

A War Fought at Home : Chapter 6

Corporal Natsu Dragneel has been through Hell, and unfortunately for him, the ride isn’t quite over. How will a new Rehab program at the local VA help? And will a certain blonde help make matters better?

Modern Military AU. Warnings for mentions of depression and adult language/situations. Other warnings to come as the story progresses. Cross post on AO3 and FF.net.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 

“--THE FUCK?! So you just offered up our house?!”

In all honesty, Gray had every right to be upset. It wasn't like Natsu had given away the last of their beer or something, he'd offered their spare bedroom to a seemingly random college girl! The two Marines had at one time discussed the possibility of renting out that room sometime in the future, but that plan had always been dependent on Natsu and his progress.

“If I didn't, she'd have to drop out and move back to Acalypha, Ice Dick,” Natsu replied as he wheeled himself over to the sink to drop his dishes in the sink, his voice taking on a somewhat whiny tone against his will. At least he had waited until they were home to drop the bomb. He had brought it up over dinner, initially causing the Sergeant to choke on his pasta, but eventually Gray had gathered enough rage to just let Natsu have it.

“And this is our problem how…?” Gray snapped, immediately beginning to wash the dishes, handing the dripping ones down to Natsu for drying.

“Because she's nice and deserves help?” What else was he supposed to say? Oh, she needs to move in with us so I don't have to say goodbye to the one female that doesn't look at me like a puppy in a cone collar? Natsu shook his head and sighed. “Come on. It's only for a year until she graduates.” He racked his brain for any other argument he could muster. A thought came to mind but it was the cheapest move in the book. “Maybe she has cute friends that like guys in uniform?”

Gray huffed grumpily as he continued to wash the same plate he’d be working on for the past couple minutes. Natsu could tell that his best friend was more upset by Natsu’s single minded decision making than he was by the prospect of Lucy moving in. All Natsu had to do was find the right switch to flip and Lucy would have the green light. When Gray finally handed off his plate, he looked down at Natsu and cocked his head to the side slightly, as if trying to read the other Marine like a book. A moment passed before Gray spoke again, his gaze falling in defeat. “You know we’ll have to actually keep this place clean then, right?”

YES! Natsu thanked his roommate rapidly before speeding off for his room to grab his phone. He happily shot a text off to Lucy before he heaved himself out of his chair and flopped onto his bed. Folding his sculpted arms underneath his head, the salmon-haired Marine breathed in deeply before allowing himself to sink further into his mattress, but not before his face lit up with the biggest shit eating grin he had ever donned. Lucy moving in meant that he’d get to see her every day, eat meals with her, watch movies together, everything he craved to do with her but couldn't in the capacity he really desired. But if he didn't stand a chance to be her boyfriend, at least he could be her favorite roommate. With the fantasy of Lucy running through his mind, of her hips swaying down his hallway, casting the sweetest smile over her shoulder as she shut her door for the night, Natsu let sleep overcome him.

The next morning, he woke up surprisingly refreshed. No nightmares, no cold sweats, nothing. All that awaited him were a million grateful texts from Lucy and the sounds of Gray already hard at work fixing up the spare room. Natsu could hear his best friend shuffling boxes down the hall, stopping in the living room, and back again for the next load. Maybe they could use him and his chair like a dolly. At least they’d get done quicker.

The Marine hoisted himself into his wheelchair, not bothering to change out of his standard-issue sweatpants and tanktop. He immediately rolled out into the hall and over to the doorframe in order to watch Gray work. Surprisingly there wasn’t much left to do. The furniture from when they moved in was again visible instead of being buried under duty bags and old boxes. There was a metal bookcase in the back corner that Natsu knew Lucy would appreciate, a full bed situated in the middle of the back wall beneath a large uncovered window that opened up to their spacious (and rarely occupied) backyard. The matching dresser was covered in an inch-thick layer of dust but was beautiful nonetheless. Gunny had made them himself but they’d never really been used by the boys. Gray had his own furniture from before he moved in and Natsu had to replace all his with medical grade equipment after his accident. The only time the pinket remembered the room being used at all was when his sister Wendy had come to visit shortly after he had returned home.

“Nice of you to join me, Asshole,” Gray muttered as he stripped away his t-shirt and used it to wipe the sweat from his brow. He threw a semi-empty box over by the door right next to Natsu’s feet. “We gotta start going through this bullshit. She has to move in before the First, right?”

Natsu grinned devilishly as he leaned over, grabbed the box, and dropped it in his lap. He didn’t even want to fight Gray about the teasing, reveling in the normalcy of it all. Most people would have taken offense to being called something derogatory but to Natsu and Gray, it was nothing more than pet names between brothers. Over the past couple months, as Natsu grew stronger, Gray acted more normal by the day. At first, it started off with small things like not doing every little thing for him and eventually grew to include the hurling of casual insults. If he was being honest, Natsu had to admit that it raised his spirits a bit, but not nearly as much as the prospect of Lucy moving in with them.

Looking down into his lap, he noticed the cardboard box contained the remnants of his Service days. Pictures of his teams, medals and commendations, the works. Before he knew it, another box was being added on top of the first, almost completely obstructing his sight in all directions. “Yup, she’ll have to start moving in here in about two weeks,” he replied as he carefully rolled back to his room and dropped the mementos in the corner. Natsu brushed off the dust off his sweats before heading back to the other room. “You sure you’re okay shacking up with a girl?”

Gray hopped up and sat on top of the dresser, leaning back against the wall. “Nah, it’s just a year right?” he scoffed while staring up at the white popcorn ceiling. “And having a chick around might not be such a bad thing. This place could use a serious ‘feminine touch’.” Both Marines laughed at the slight truth in Gray’s statement before he jumped down and made his way to his bedroom next door. He quickly headed for the shower, managing to lose his basketball shorts somewhere between the two, and left Natsu alone to take in the sight of the now empty room. Closing his eyes, he took a moment to imagine what Lucy’s room might look like. The empty beige walls were suddenly covered in all sorts of photos, the bed draped with her favorite starry quilt. She would probably need some kind of desk for her writing, but he still had his that was hardly ever used. The twinkling sounds of his cell phone ringing dragged the veteran out of his daydreaming and forced him back into the real world.

Wheeling into his room, Natsu groaned when he found his former teammate calling. A picture of the orange-maned, playboy wiggled over the screen before Natsu actually forced himself to pick up, mainly just to make it stop. “Yo, Leo, what’s up Brother?” he murmured, trying to sound asleep. One could only hope he’d be spared if Loke thought he’d interrupted something.

“Salamander, tonight the boys and I are going out since the Dragon Twins are back from their last Tour,” the other Marine slurred as if he’d already started ‘celebrating’. “Grab the Ice Princess and meet us at this bar downtown called Fairy Tail. No one has seen your ugly ass in ages.”

Natsu feigned amusement. “I’ll relay the message, but you guys can make complete fools of yourselves without me thanks.” While he knew he probably should go, mostly because of Gildarts’ relentless nagging in the back of his mind, that didn’t mean he necessarily wanted to go. Seeing the boys would be great if they didn’t want to go somewhere like a downtown hotspot. It’s not like they were the most handicapable places in the world.

Loke’s whining made Natsu yank the phone off his ear. “Come on man, I’m being serious.” A small huff came through the line after silence had fallen between the two brothers-in-arms. “At least think about it? Everyone would really like to see you, Boss.”

Eventually Natsu conceded to the augmented request. “I make no promises.” And that was that. Rushed goodbyes left the pinket alone once more to wallow in his thoughts.

Could it really be so bad?

Hours later, once night had fallen over Magnolia, Gray and Natsu trudged their way up to the line waiting outside the newest hub for local nightlife. After some heated debates and multiple decision changes, the two ultimately dressed and headed out to meet their Squad mates. The group of Marines wasn’t exactly difficult to spot, the four of them sticking out like well-postured thumbs. Natsu immediately made out Loke and the ‘twins’ better known as Sting and Rogue. The two riflemen had grown up together, enlisted together, and served together, earning them the familial title. Gajeel held up the rear, grinning menacingly as the two joined the group. They all shared their raucous pleasantries before they were finally admitted to the club.

At least the monstrosity had one benefit. Due to Natsu’s wheelchair, the staff of Fairy Tail bumped them up to first class so that the group could have access to the booths. There was a ramp up onto the raised platform hidden on the side of the main room and the six of them quickly found their way to their table.

“First round is on me, boys!” Loke exclaimed, trying to be heard clearly over the booming music. And before anyone could stop him, the redhead was weaving through the crowds to get to the bar. The rest of them settled down and began catching up, sharing the highlights of what had happened in the past year and a half. When Loke returned, not only was he carrying a tray full of glasses and a bottle of firewhiskey, he was also smirking in his trademark fashion.

“Check out the pack of babes by the bar,” he instructed as he directed their attention to the bar. Each of them craned their necks in order to get a glance at whoever Loke was talking about. It didn’t take their trained eyes long to find their targets and Natsu felt as if his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Luckily he didn’t have to say anything. Gray did that for him.

“Hey Natsu! Isn’t that Lucy?!” he mocked, wryly sipping his whiskey. She was surrounded by other girls, a couple he recognized from photos she had shown him. Queue the casual ribbing.

Sting, the blonder half of the Twins, soon broke up the teasing as he announced his intentions. “Well, if you guys wanna circle jerk all night, be my guest. I’m going to get to know those girls over there.” His sights turned on Natsu before he downed the rest of his drink. “Wanna introduce me to the hot one?”

Natsu’s world turned red. Unfortunately, he didn’t get the chance to react before Sting was already cutting through the crowd. He sat faithfully and watched as his comrade infiltrated the group, never once gesturing back to the other Marines. However, the longer he made himself watch, the sicker he became. The last thing he saw before finishing off his own drink and excusing himself from his brothers was Sting closing the gap and running his fingers through the very strands of gold that had been haunting Natsu’s dreams for weeks.

Hey y'all! Hope you enjoyed this one. It's a bit of a filler chapter but trust me, you're going to like where this is going. Thank you all for wishing me well these past couple weeks. Thankfully I'm feeling better (mostly) but the stress from normal life is no bueno. I'm thankful I get to come and write here, and that y'all are coming along on the ride with me. :)

[vicbartons]

#71 “You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?” please?

omg erin, i´m so sorry that this took so long, but real life is keeping me busy lately. hope you like it anyway ♡

It´s the sound of metal scratching against wood over and over again that wakes Robert up.

He blinks a few times, feeling slightly disoriented for a minute, until he realises that he´s not in bed, but still curled up on the armchair in their living room. Feet tucked under himself and cuddling with a throw pillow. He must have falllen asleep waiting up for Aaron; somewhere between reruns of Doctor Who and whatever late-night teleshopping nonesense is occuping the screen now, the low, monotonous voice of its presenter filling the room.

As he turns towards their front door, where he assumes the headache-inducing noise is coming from, he can feel a light crick in his neck. Someday, Robert is going to admit to himself that he is too old to sleep on anything other than a proper matress. He lets out a small groan and runs a hand over his face to rub the sleep from his eyes. In hopes of adjusting to the dark room around him, only illuminated by the dim light of the television, he blinks a few times, but he can´t make out anything more than a moving shadow on the other side of the pane of glass in the door to their flat.

Suddenly, the scratching stops, but it doesn´t take long for it to be replaced by a slurred, explative-laced tirade.

Robert smiles to himself.

Aaron then. And he is definitely drunk. Not that Robert had expected anything else, with him being out on his stag do.

The scratching starts off again, a clear sign that Aaron´s key still hasn´t found its way into the key-hole. Begrudgingly, Robert pushes himself out of the armchair and stumbles towards the door, careful not to stub his toe on their living room table or to fall over whatever clobber Liv has undoubtedly managed to scatter across their floor over the course of the day.

When he finally lets Aaron in, he drunkenly flounders forwards and into him, clearly not having expected the door to suddenly give.

“Oi! Careful, you,“ Robert catches him in his arms, his hands finding their way under his husband’s armpits to pull him upright.

“´obert,“ Aaron mumbles, and a bright smile spreads across his face as soon as his eyes manage to focus on him.

He looks gorgeous like this; red cheeks, wide eyes and his hair sligthly ruffled, no sign of his usual scowl. “I´ve got ya,“ Robert reassures and he can´t help the grin that tugs at his own lips at the sight of his husband. No matter how long he lives, Robert is fairly certain that he will never tire of seeing Aaron smile.

“You´ve been drinking tonight, haven´t you?“ he teases.

“Funny,“ Aaron huffs a laugh, as he tries to steady himself by tightly holding onto Robert´s shoulders,“you´re funny.” His index finger taps against Robert´s chest a few times, before he´s grabbing Robert´s jumper to pull him close, until their noses are touching. “Missed ya,“ he whispers.

“You too,” Aaron´s nose scrunches up adorably at the admission, and god, if it weren´t for his drunkenness and the light stench of alcohol and cigarette smoke sticking to his hoodie, Robert would kiss him right now.

“Didn´t tell ´em that… how funny y´are,“ Aaron says, but Robert is too focused on trying to drag his husband towards their bedroom to question it.

It doesn´t take long for him to realise that there is absolutely no way he´s getting Aaron up the spiral staricase and into bed in this state, at the very least not without waking up Liv. Not for the first time since their move, Robert curses himself for having insisted on the damn thing, against Ronnie´s advice. (Obviously, he would never admit that to anyone. He wasn´t about to let the likes of Zak Dingle come into his home and critizise his sense of interior design, thanks very much.)

“Sofa it is then,“ he mutters under his breath, more to himself than to Aaron. “You need to help me out a bit here, Aaron.” Robert is trying to get them to the sofa somehow, Aaron´s arms around his shoulder. He tugs him in at the hip, but Aaron feels like a bag of concrete next to him, putting his full weight on Robert and practically letting himself be dragged across the room, “Come on.“

“Should ´ave told ´em…“

“Told who what?“ Robert asks, but Aaron doesn´t seem to notice and carries on with his ramblings instead.

“Said I was a right idiot for marrying ya again,“ Aaron shakes his head at that, as if the notion of him not agreeing to finally make this marriage legal is utterly ridiculous to him, but Robert grimaces.

Eventhough him and the Dingles are back to a somewhat cordial relationship, most of them having reluctantly accepted that Aaron wasn´t going to budge on his decision to stick with Robert, they still are far from his biggest fans. Nowadays, Robert only has to endure the odd more or less well-meaning jib, whenever he runs into one of Aaron´s family members. Though given that practically half the village is related to his husband in one way or another, it still happens far more often than Robert would like.

He takes every dig in stride though, feeling like that is the least he deserves considering his monumental fuck-up.

Nevertheless, he should have known that they would use their chance of getting Aaron on his own to launch one last proper intervention. As they should. It´s not like Robert himself doesn´t spent every walking hour of every day wondering what on earth he´s done right in life for Aaron to give him yet another chance, after everthing.

The answer is probably “nothing”. This is all Aaron. Fiercly loyal and with a heart of gold when it comes to the people he loves. And for some inexplicable reason, Robert is one of the few people lucky enough to be loved by Aaron Dingle. Deep down, he is still unsure if his husband wouldn´t be better off without him, no matter how many times Aaron tries to convince him of the opposite, but if Robert has learned anything over the past year, it´s that as much as he´s trying to change for the better, he is still far too selfish to not hold on as tightly as he can and take every chance he´s offered when it comes to Aaron.

”Ya know,“ Aaron continues, tilting his head to the side, an apologetic look on his face, “with Rebecca and the lying and the shirts.“

Robert knows it´s coming, but her name still feels like a punch to the gut and he can´t help but flinch at the sound of it. No matter how good things are right now, he will never forgive himself for what happened with Rebecca and the way he-  

”My shirts?“ Suddenly, there´s a quizzical look on his face.

Aaron gives him a small nod. “Look like a posh twat, Cain said,“ Robert opens his mouth at that, ready to argue, but then he closes it shut again without having uttered a word. With him bone-tired and Aaron wasted, it doesn´t really seem the time to point out that Cain Dingle, who - if Robert remembers correctly - spent years with a haircut that made him look like a 90´s grunge band reject, should be the last person to comment on anyone else´s appearance.

”But I told ´em where to shove it,“ Aaron says proudly, when they finally reach the sofa.

”Did you now?“ Robert´s lips quirk up in a smile as he lets Aaron lie down and starts to loosen his shoe laces to pull off his boots. His husband, oblivious to his efforts thanks to god knows how many pints, being no help at all in the process.

“Defended your ´onor, like a proper husband.“

Robert huffs, “Course you did,“ he says and takes the blanket that´s purched over the edge of their sofa to tug Aaron in.

He´s hovering right over him, pulling the blanket over his husband´s shoulders, when Aaron´s hand finds its way into his hair and he begins to speak again, soft and full of adoration. ”Told ´em that you´re gorgeous and clever,“ Robert´s cheeks flush slightly red at that. It´s not like he doesn´t know that Aaron loves him, but hearing small confirmations like these out loud still sends shivers down his spine.

Aaron let´s his fingers run down Robert´s face until they cup his chin and continues, “Best thing that´s ever happened to me, you.“ He´s practically beaming at him now, his voice low and raspy from fatigue and alcohol. “Not my fault that they don´t know how soft and all y´are, really, but I do,“ his thumb caresses Robert´s cheek, “I know.“

The words rush over him like a wave of affection, leaving him with that comfortable, warm feeling of home in his stomach that only Aaron ever makes him feel. Like in this moment, he is exactly where he’s supposed to be. “Good. You´re the only one who needs to know, right?” He kisses Aaron´s cheek lightly, a smile on his lips, “Got a reputation to uphold and all.”

“And ya can do that thing with your tongue,“ Robert pulls away a bit and shakes his head, eyes wide, hoping that Aaron isn´t talking about what he thinks he is talking about, “that thing, on the kitchen counter.“ His hand runs down his face to muffle an embarassed moan. Of course he couldn´t be that lucky.

“Christ Aaron, they didn´t need to know about that, did they?“ Robert could only hope that the rest of the party had come home in as much of a state as Aaron. Otherwise, they´d probably both have to spent the next few weeks hiding out at home, avoiding Adam and most of the Dingles at all costs.

“Should do that again,“ Aaron tries but fails to quirk his eyebrows at Robert as his heavy eyes slowly fall shut, his whole body desperate for sleep.

“Yeah right,“ Robert whispers warmly, chuckling, “No chance of that happening until you´ve sobered up.“

“Hmpf.“

Robert leaves him on the sofa, while he goes to get Aaron a glass of water and the aspirin that he´s certainly going to need by the time he wakes up. From the kitchen, out of the corner of his eye, he can see Aaron akwardly shuffling around on the sofa. He sends most of their cushions flying to the ground, sleepily trying to make himself comfortable.

Robert returns, finally switches off the tv and puts the glass and the tablet down on their coffee table. “Night”, he whispers, before placing a kiss on Aaron´s forhead while tugging the blanket tightly around him again, ready to leave him be for the night.

“Stay ´ere,“ Aaron mumbles. He reaches out to grab Robert´s hand, but misses in his drunken haze. Instead, he just lets it hover in the air between them.

Robert turns back towards him and laces their fingers together.

He knows that his back isn´t going to thank him for this come morning. But then again, sleeping in their bed without his husband next to him won´t make for a good night´s sleep either – he learned that the hard way, back during Aaron´s stint in prison – and Robert would take a bit of back pain over not having Aaron softly snorring on his shoulder while he holds him close any day.

So he lies down beside his husband. He tries to make both of them fit on their sofa properly by pulling Aaron on top of him, though his feet still end up dangling over the edge.

“´ove ya,“ Aaron hums against his skin, before pressing a sloppy kiss to Robert´s jaw. Robert leans in and lets his cheek rest against Aaron´s hair, as his eyes slowly close shut.

“Love you,too.“

[rkrosememories]

╰ °✧ royal survival audition — personal ( dance cover ) by park chaeyoung ( ver. )

                   “i don’t want it, nah nah nah. don’t need it, yeah yeah yeah.”

she paces the dance studio; back and forth, again and again, unable to approach the camera to click record. anxiety floods her entire body, and nothing can and will ever prepare her for what she’s about to do. rose swore to herself that she wouldn’t do this; that she wouldn’t sign up for a show like this, that she wouldn’t sell herself to the public with hopes of becoming something. but wasn’t that this industry? and rose fears that each and everyday she’s at royal or seocho, there are hundreds of trainees running ahead, doing whatever it takes to out do her and others alike her. so, as soon as the announcement sounds throughout royal and seocho, rose bites the bullet and keeps her head down. she had nothing holding her back from doing this.

still overwhelmed with anxiety, she pauses and takes a moment for herself exclusively to pray, to be alone with her thoughts. rose counts down from three, taking deep breaths. everything was set and ready to go, she knew the choreography off by heart. from teaching herself to having jaebum help her perfect it, there was nothing stopping her from killing this performance and going far and beyond on this program. rose knew she was capable of doing that, but she still struggled to believe it. even now, she’s tempted to drop the performance and pick up her guitar, which sits in the room with her as she records, as a form of reassurance, or perhaps luck. 

she counts down again. one, two, three and clicks record.

“hello there,” rose falls into a curt bow, one she’s practiced again and again, only to be executed perfectly. she stands tall, a smile settles on her face. tucking a stray strand of dark brown hair from her face, rose waves at the camera. “my name is park chaeyoung, although most people know me as rose.” a year ago, rose would of struggled to of let her korean name slip from her tongue so easily. these days, park chaeyoung is just as much apart of her identity as roseanne park is, at the end of the day; she’s still rose. that girl with the guitar who’s too curious for her own good. god help her, may the public appreciate her for who she is. 

her hands lace together behind her back as she purses her lips, trying to remain poised and composed. she can only hope her anxiety doesn’t show through the video, both physically and in the audio, but from the sounds of things, her korean is clear enough. “i’m twenty years old, or twenty one in korea,” as she goes on introducing herself, she becomes more comfortable with the camera. “and i was born and raised in melbourne, australia.” she smiles the moment she mentions her home country, nodding shyly. “i moved here nearly six years ago as a student.” it feels as though six years ago was truly centuries behind her. somedays rose forgets what the sun back home feels like on her skin or how pristine and blue the sky is. she dreams of home.

rose begins to talk with her hands, entirely comfortable before the camera now, as she knows her introduction is almost over. “as of right now, i’m a trainee at royal entertainment and i’ve been here for around eight months.” she keeps in mind that anyone could see this, not only seo jiseob, but likely the public, so rose tries to come across as friendly and approachable. that’s the sort of idol she’d like, so why not be that? rose pauses and brings her hands to her cheeks, her skin warm beneath the palms of her hands. “i want to make a confession to you,” rose says shyly. “i really wanted to challenge myself for this audition, so i’m not going to play the guitar today.” she laughs to herself, as it’s a running joke for her and trainers, trying to get rose away from the guitar is a literal nightmare. “i’m going to dance, i’ll be covering personal by kehlani.” she’d picked the choreography out herself, drawn to it by it’s simplicity; despite that, it gave off a powerful, feminine vibe and besides, rose loved the song, so it seemed only fitting. “so, please take good care of me, i promise to work very hard, thank you.” she bows once more, clapping her hands together with a smile before she shuffles out of focus to prepare for the choreography to begin. thank goodness she’d have the opportunity to edit this nightmare. 

the footage cuts to rose standing centre, in the middle of a well lit studio in seocho. she dons a black baseball cap and a fitted white t-shirt, accentuating her slender figure and small waist, accompanied by black tracksuit pants and white trainers. her look is simple, understated; and a piece of her wishes that she’d gone forth and bleached her hair to return to the colour which describes her best. she’s concealed her tattoos on the undersides of her arms, still aware of the obvious stigma around body art which she so clearly appreciates and loves. 

she kills the introduction and moves straight into the choreography without hesitation. it’s a relief to move to the music, without opening her mouth, something of which is so natural to rose.

they sleeping, they sleeping, they sleeping, they sleeping on me. but i don’t waste my time tryna prove that i’m something to see.  oh i, the real ones they know and the ones that do not, i don’t need, ‘cause most see the vision and i give reasons to believe.

she moves carefully, gracefully; as rehearsed. rose is good enough of a dancer to learn choreography and execute it professionally, she hasn’t two left feet. that’s the point. of late, her focus has primarily been dancing, so she hopes now that her precision begins to show.

that i’m honest, i’m honest i’m telling no lies, when i say i’m up next, i’m not just for the ride, never a point where i questioned my mind, know what i’m doing, i planned for this time. come up regardless i’m coming regardless.

rose settles into the choreography, going with the music, as rehearsed. her mind drifts back to the late nights spent in the studio alone, replaying certain parts of the song again and again, desperate to catch on to the feel and mood of the song she was dancing to. she feels for jaebum who she dragged into this mess, begging for him to watch over her run through the routine once or twice and see what she could work on. if she trusted anyone’s opinion, it was his.

i’m hungry, i’m starving, remaining a topic, never an option, got your undivided whenever i’m plotting. don’t take it personal, personal, personal. don’t take it personal, personal, personal. i know it hurts to know, hurts to know, hurts to know. i don’t want it ( nah, nah, nah ), don’t need it ( yeah, yeah, yeah ).

she can only hope that this will be enough. most people know her strengths, they know she’s the girl who rarely strays from what she knows. rose sings ballads and rose plays the guitar and sometimes she plays the keyboard or piano. rose isn’t the girl who does hip hop or dances, this is far from who she is and what she does but rose wants to reassure that whoever is watching that she is capable of anything and everything thrown her way. she’ll eat up whatever is given to her, no matter the genre or concept. being versatile and flexible is what she strives for. satisfied with her direction, rose throws her all into each and every ounce of the choreography. 

and somehow, rose completes the choreography without an ounce of hesitation, despite the anxiety she had to overcome prior to pressing record. confidence rushes through her body the moment the music stops, and she holds the ending pose, throwing a wink and a lip bite at the camera before breaking the persona, returning to her normal self. rose bows before the camera again, a little less rehearsed, a little more casual. “thank you so much, i hope you enjoyed. once again, please take care of me, i hope to see you soon!”

now all she had to do was wait.

and hope.

and pray.

[snarktheater]

Shadowhunters — Episode 2x11

Okay, that's enough procrastination waiting for the whole season to air. We're doing Shadowhunters again. For what it's worth, the show did look to be on an upwards slope, so…hey, that's a plus, right? Maybe at some point I'll be able to just watch and not constantly bitch about stuff. Dream big, as they say.

Since this is the first episode post-hiatus, the show opens by re-establishing the situation. By having Jace and Alec spar then wrestle in the Institute. Which…okay, I guess at least it's nice to look at.

Said situation, by the way, is this: I don't know how long it's been since the last episode, but Jace still hasn't told Clary they're not actually related, claiming he doesn't want to ruin her relationship with Simon. Also, Jace is repressing all his feelings regarding activating the Soul-Sword and triggering a Downworlder massacre…that is, according to Alec. Because why bothering showing emotional struggle when you can just have another character tell the audience that it's there?

Oh, and lest you forget: Jace has angel blood, which must mean he has special abilities like Clary. And since we now know about it, that must mean it's only a matter of time before these abilities manifest. Dramatic timing is a requirement in this show.

Before we get some actual plot, let's also check on…you know, the protagonist. At least I think Clary's still the official protagonist. I may be wrong. Either way, she's hanging out with Simon in the sun, musing on how great life is right now.

"We're like a normal couple!"

Yay, I guess. I'm still having a hard time remembering Clary showing romantic interest in Simon. So I'm almost glad (almost) for Jace interrupting their date and bringing the plot with him, in the form of Inquisitor Herondale being back in New York and wanting to speak to the protagonists. Before they leave, Simon tells Jace he's figured out that Jace's angel blood is the reason he's now a Daylighter, but he'll keep the secret so Jace doesn't have every vampire in the world after him. This is totally not setup for Simon's subplot…except you know it is, so why do I even bother with the sarcasm here.

So, good old Inquisitor Herondale is still around and she's interrogating Valentine. Since Clary de-activated the Soul-Sword with one of her special runes, the Sword has been damaged and is being purified by the Iron Sisters, so the interrogation is more of a classic torture. Needless to say, it doesn't work, because there isn't a single TV main character who has ever cracked under torture.

More interestingly, the Inquisitor knows that Valentine is after the three Mortal Instruments to summon Raziel, and she introduces the Mirror to the audience. I'm not sure how she knows, but I'll take it. The sooner they introduce the concept, the sooner they can find the damn lake, and we can move on to another plot.

On the more confusing end of things, the torture triggers a…flashback? I think? We dive into Valentine's eye and see a blonde boy in the center of a flaming pentagram. I'm not sure it's him, or Jonathan/Sebastian/whatever the fuck I'll call him this time around, or even Jace. I guess only time will tell, because this is all we get for now.

And with that, the Inquisitor comes to talk to Clary and Jace. It's your routine "I'm the resident adult now, get in line" speech, since Aldertree is facing reprimands in Idris. Reprimands for what? Um…I don't know, since last I checked, Isabelle's condition has not been made public. Maybe it's just because the Institute was taken by Valentine over his watch. The Shadowhunters sound like the kind of people who'd punish you for that.

Okay, now that the new status quo is properly established, let's get out new villain out to play. So we cut to a random bar, where one of the Inquisitor's security detail is hanging out (alone, without any protections and with your guard down, as you do when you're someone's security detail and there's a terrorist group on the loose whose leader you hold captive?). Another guy comes and asks him about the Cup's location, and since Valentine hasn't given it up, our new bad guy decides he'll just kill everyone in the bar for good measure. Because he's ~evil~ and ~evil~ has no care for practical concerns!

Before our protagonists can respond to this situation, we have some more subplots to establish. Namely: Isabelle's still trying to kick her yin fen addiction, which no one but Alec knows about, and she's not doing great at it; and Luke is facing issue with the werewolf pack, with one of them, Russel, almost challenging him to become the new alpha because Luke got so many of them killed at the Institute, but backing down when Luke gives him the chance.

Are we good now? Anyone else we should know about? No, apparently that's everyone. Thankfully.

So, on the scene of the crime, our protagonist decide this isn't a regular demon attack, with Jace speculating it's a Greater Demon. They also find sand on the victims, a.k.a. a plot device to get an easy answer on who the culprit is.

We also meet Luke's new partner at the NYPD, who…isn't named in this scene, but I'll get on with it anyway. Her name is Molly, she's gay, and she wants to get to know Luke since they're, you know, partners. Which bothers Luke because he doesn't want to let her know about the Shadow world. Or maybe he just doesn't like her. He phrases it that she's "driving him crazy", which will never not have sexist connotations in my mind, sorry.

Back at the Institute, Jace gives exposition on what a Greater Demon is, but Clary has zero fucks to give about that, she decided it was time to talk about whatever Jace is angsting about now and won't tell her. She goes as far as to point out he can talk to her because "she's his sister", but if you think that would compel Jace Wayland Morgenstern Herondale Lightwood Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way to be honest to her, you're mistaken. No, we have to drag out this angst at least until near the episode climax, come on.

Meanwhile, Alec goes to Magnus with the mystery sand, and Isabelle uses her alone time to go check on Raphael and try to get some more vampire venom from him. He refuses to bite her again, though, because…I think the show is confused what it wants Raphael to be. Last time he was hiding her phone and manipulating her into staying with him, but now he wants nothing to do with her and feels guilty about it? Unfortunately, this doesn't paint him into a very positive light overall. Especially since, when she leaves, he's probably aware she'll just try to find another vampire. And by "he's probably aware", I mean he finds Alec at Magnus's place and tells her which vampire den Isabelle went to. Sure, he only guessed it because it was the closest to the Dumort, but still. That means he put zero effort into personally stopping her.

Anyway, since I'm back to Magnus's place, Magnus identifies our culprit: the Greater Demon Azazel, who is also now a "Prince of Hell" coming from Duduael, the "worst dimension" of Hell. Whatever these things mean. Azazel, coincidentally, stumbles upon Isabelle outside the vampire den and attacks her. Since she's not at her best, she can't really fight him off, but "luckily", a certain blond Shadowhunter shows up to save her. I won't pretend I don't know who it is, because…well, I followed the casting news. So I'll just say "how convenient that all these people happened to be in the same back alley outside a vampire den!"

The only thing that's more convenient is that Alec, Magnus and Raphael don't show up until everyone else is gone. They find Isabelle's pendant, which fell during the struggle, and assume Azazel took her prisoner. Because…he does that?

Alec goes back on the Institute and updates Clary and Jace. They briefly consider warning the Inquisitor, but since she's in a meeting, that's enough reason to go straight to Valentine instead. Because there's clearly no one else who could help in the entire Institute, which is constantly full of Shadowhunters!

Point is, Valentine claims Azazel isn't here to free him or Valentine would be free already, but he must be after the Cup itself, since it's the only thing that can control a Greater Demon. So Valentine suggests using him as bait to get Isabelle back. He also drops the news about Jace not being his biological son. Or, rather, he almost drops the news, so Jace punches him into silence and then tells Clary himself. Because that kind of random acts of violence totally isn't a huge red flag. Cathartic though they may be.

Clary is rightfully shaken and angry, pointing out that his argument for not telling her is bullshit.

"You have a good thing going on with Simon, you're happy. I wouldn't want to ruin that." "Why would that ruin anything?"

Yeah, it's almost like he's working off the assumption she'll fall for him instantly or something.

She goes on to have a rant about how Jace should allow himself to feel things, which is only tangentially related to the topic at hand and connects more to their previous scene. But hey, it's a cool discussion of toxic masculinity, so I'll take it.

Even better: we actually get some payoff for it, since a few scenes later, Alec finds Jace on the roof, crying and admitting that he and Clary were right and he was repressing his feelings. It's…not ideal, because he's still doing it alone like it's shameful, but it's progress. I think? I'll take it.

This, of course, doesn't change the fact that our protagonists just decided to use Valentine as bait without any assurance Isabelle is even with Azazel and without any backup, but hey, these kids are doomed to be stupid forever. I can't get angry about it every time.

Anyway, before we engage our climax, let's check on our subplots. Russel, the werewolf who almost challenged Luke, decided to take his supporters with him to start a new pack, leaving Luke's pack really small. Also, Luke's new partner Molly takes picture of Maia (who delivers the news to him), so…either she's just really that nosy and determined to know Luke better or there's more to her. I guess we'll find out.

The other subplot is Simon's. First we settle that band of his, since Maureen basically throws him out of the band (on the phone, because I guess the actress rightfully couldn't be bothered to come back after…what, fifteen episodes of not even being mentioned?). Then Simon, like the idiot he is, wanders around in daylight and in Downworlder bars. Specifically Maia's bar, because there are no other Downworlder bars in all of New York, I suppose. She's happy for him, but others notice too, and word gets back to Raphael. Who, still the inconsistent character that he is, tries to intimidate Simon into telling him how he became a Daylighter. Simon claims he doesn't know, but…yeah, you can guess this isn't the end of it.

Okay, back to the main plot. Well, sort of. First we've gotta properly meet Jonathan Morgenstern. Ahem, I mean…Sebastian Verlac. Totally Sebastian Verlac.

He's taken Isabelle to his place, and claims to be a Shadowhunters of the London Institute who went AWOL to kick a yin fen addiction. What a coincidence, right? He even has a miracle drug that takes out the withdrawal symptoms!

…Yeah, Isabelle doesn't seem to think it's weird. Even when he more or less forces her to stay, implying she'll never kick her addiction if she leaves. And Isabelle won't call Alec to tell her she's fine because…well, we gotta have that stupid climax.

"He's just like my mom, stubborn and strong-willed." "Yeah, I know all about stubborn and strong-willed mothers."

Does he mean Jocelyn or Lilith? He says his mom is dead, but it could be a lie and this could go either way.

So while Isabelle is having fun eating Sebastian's bouillabaisse (it's a metaphor for learning by example—no, really), the others are about to summon a Greater Demon to trade a prisoner that he doesn't have. Fun fact: the pentagram they use is the same one we saw in Valentine's flashback; make of that what you will.

Azazel, unsurprisingly, is not amused by a bunch of teenagers trying to hold him with a pentagram. He's also immune to Clary's sunlight rune (for…some reason), so he has everyone incapacitated in pretty much no time at all and starts doing something to Valentine. Not killing him, or taking him and teleporting away, because that would be too easy and we already established Azazel isn't a very practical guy.

Instead, this gives Jace's angel powers time to kick in just on time for that dramatic timing I mentioned. His eyes glow because someone on the crew watched too much Teen Wolf…

…and this activates his runes without using his stele. He breaks free, forcing Azazel to leave. Hurray for nothing!

Well, not quite. Magnus leaves, acting distant towards Alec, and as soon as he's alone in the street, looks at himself and mutters "disgusting warlock". Yep, we're dealing with body hopping now. Aren't you glad the show is going for the few remaining obvious tropes that Clare hadn't actually used? Or…wait, did she use that one? I've gone through so much of her stuff it's starting to blur together.

Also, yeah, Isabelle does call Alec and tell her she's fine. She also catches Sebastian holding his hand over an open flame and not feeling the burn, but this is apparently not cause for concern either, so I guess Isabelle is still carrying the idiot ball for now. Oh, and Jace apologizes to Clary for holding out on her, so at least there's that.

"I just need time to process." "Join the club."

Well I need time to process that the next episode (episodes? Please don't let it be more than one) will feature body-swapping. So I think we're done here.

[quillandsaber]

30 Days of Beauty and the Beast: Day 2 (Jealousy)

When Adam sent the letter to Versailles announcing his intention to wed, he had expected (hoped for, were he being honest) a perfunctory banishment from court. While Belle's maternal grandfather had been a sieur, the marriage of a prince to anyone less than a comtesse is scandalous in the extreme. Good riddance, he thinks. Versailles made him the monster that he was; going back would only be painful.

He does not count on the Queen. More accurately, he does not count on the Queen's dedication to promoting virtue within the kingdom and the fact that a famously profligate prince who had disappeared for ten years and was now appearing to be dedicating himself to being a just and principled ruler due to the influence of a virtuous (and presumably pious) woman of lower birth would be exceedingly interesting to someone with that goal.

A month later, they are inundated with congratulations and, horror of horrors, invitations. Many are clearly directed with his bride-to-be in mind, clearly indicating "Anne-Isabelle, newly Princesse de Bretagne" in flourishing script next to his own name and title. He automatically refuses those coming from his more-libertine acquaintances without guilt--it helps that Belle agrees with him rejecting the people who had fostered his former morals or lack thereof--and writes excuses for as many of the others as he can, until one day a messenger rides up on a white horse in an unmistakeable gilt-and-blue coat delivering a letter with far too much wax and perfume to not know what it is.

It's from the Queen. They can't refuse an invitation from the Queen, so Belle suggests they get it over with as quickly as possible. Show their faces for a week, plead that they need to return to continue to set their lands to rights, and then mysteriously never show up at Versailles again unless dragged by royal invitation. It's a good plan, so Adam agrees. They plan. They pack. They go.

...and as soon as he sees those white columns again for the first time in over a decade, he panics.

It's too soon. He's not ready to face Versailles again. If Belle weren't sitting next to him in the carriage holding his hand, he'd be tempted to throw himself under the wheels so even the thought of him going to Versailles would be moot. But she is there, so he swallows and reminds himself it's just for a week. He survived not having real feet for ten years; he can survive this for a week.

Hopefully.

They arrive too late in the day to do anything but supervise their trunks' arrival to their room (which, he notes, is in a better place than when he was at Versailles on his own), but the next morning, he goes to the Levee, she to the Toilette, and he is instantly reminded that this is a terrible idea, that he needs to be nowhere near these men and their ways. He is fortunate, he supposes, that enough men have arrived who outrank him that he is in no danger of having to participate in the ceremony, merely observe, but the King's eyes rest on him uncomfortably long during the grande entrée, and he's not sure if it's a good thing or even if he wants it to be a good thing. Perhaps it's merely because, but for his clothes and hair, Adam looks exactly as he did ten years ago when standing in this exact spot. Another thing to be thankful for: etiquette keeps everyone else's eyes on the King and off the wayward prince who looks no different but acts like another man.

He follows along with the crowd to chapel and to watch the King dine, and only after it is time for the King to meet with his ministers is he free to try to find food and his wife, not necessarily in that order, but his attempts are thwarted by an encounter with three former friends who accost him in such quick succession he is sure it was planned. He goes with them in the quest for sustenance, but when they find it he keeps his mouth full to avoid having to choose between diplomatic silence and outright condemnation. How he ever thought these men were good friends is beyond him now; ten years of drink and whoring had made their mark on their faces so clearly that no amount of powder could mask it, and he thanks God that he had somehow managed to avoid the pox in his youth.

No, he will not go into Paris with them. No, he has other activities planned for the evening. Yes, they are with his wife.

The men smile knowingly. Perhaps they think he wants to make sure that his pretty young wife finds no other lover in libertine Versailles. Let them think that; it means he does not need to be far from her for very long. It means that he has a perfect reason to excuse himself to track down said pretty young wife, but the men insist on following him. One is sure that he had seen a new lady in pale blue in the Queen's radius that morning, and Belle had been wearing a light blue gown when she had left earlier, so at least Adam has a lead.

It takes but a few words to be admitted to the Queen's apartments, and Adam holds his breath as the ushers open the series of doors to admit them into the antechamber where--thank heavens!--Belle sits at a table piled high with books surrounded by several animated young women (some he vaguely recognizes as having been children when last he saw them), a middle-aged man he doesn't recognize at all, and the Queen. He and his compatriots are announced by the usher, and they all pay their respects to the Queen as prescribed. Adam remembers her putting great stock on etiquette, and he's not willing to bet she's budged much on that count. He tries not to smile too much as he sees Belle's face light up to see him.

The Queen invites him to sit, and his compatriots are summarily dismissed. The conversation, it seems, relates to a particular new book about the history of France. Belle is flourishing, he can tell. Her eyes are alight with curiosity, and she drinks in every word. The Queen looks on her with a tiny but benevolent smile that Adam has never seen before. The other women ask her for opinions, recommend recent books that she should buy in Paris before returning to her home, but she should come back as soon as she's able because everything happens at Versailles or Paris, all the best minds are there. She's in her element, and she's been in the byzantine Versailles for less than a day, whereas he's been floundering in his natural habitat.

Before he knows it, it's time for the Queen to prepare for supper, and it's time for the men to leave the room. The Queen with characteristic grace bids Belle leave as well, mentioning with that same benevolent smile that the young woman is probably exhausted from the journey to Versailles and shouldn't tire herself too much her first day at court. Adam recognizes the form of dismissal as an invitation for Belle to return the next day, and he bows as graciously as he can before backing out of the room with his wife.

They walk in companionable silence back to their room, her hand resting lightly on his silk-covered elbow. Heaven smiles down on Adam for once that day, and they don't run into any of his former acquaintances. Belle's maid is waiting in their room, and she leaps to extract her mistress from her stiffened bodice and wide panniers as Belle carefully removes her jewelry (all originally his mother's, he feels a little guilty for it, but Belle seems to love them all the more for not being new). Adam stands well out of the way, wondering to himself why he never considered before just how bothersome court skirts had to be to those who wore them. In what feels like an hour, Belle is free of all her layers, and she slips into her wrapper as her maid hangs the contraptions and promises to find some supper for the pair once she's done.

Once they are left in privacy, Adam goes to his wife and holds her close to his chest.

"How was your day?"

"It went well," she replies contentedly. "I'm glad Cogsworth helped me find those books of court etiquette, or else I would have been completely lost."

"And the queen?"

"She asked me lots of questions after chapel about how we met, the curse, how it was lifted. I think I answered them correctly." She leans back so she can look her husband in the eye. "I mentioned that we oughtn't stay long, and she seemed to accept it when I told her why."

"Praise God for that. Did she seem concerned that there might be rebellion?" It was the only thing he had feared from Belle's earlier plan. Claiming they needed to manage their lands closely might look close to mismanagement.

"Oh, no. That's not the reason I told her." She bites her lip, then she takes his hands in hers, moving them from her shoulders to her belly. "That's why."

His brain goes blank. "You...you're certain?"

"As certain as any woman ever is at this stage," she says, blushing. "I spoke with Mrs. Potts before we left about it; I should be very certain in about a month and a half."

It sinks in fully then, and the cares of his day fade away. This, this is what matters. His wife. His soon-to-be child, God willing. He is so lucky to have this second chance at life alongside a woman he can only pray he will one day deserve.

"Thank you," he pulls her close again, murmuring fervently. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

[mishaxdleggfn96insurance-blog]

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To underwriting. If they expense or guaranteed issue solution until you can that you were a percentage of the subject to 40% inheritance a head-on collision. Her of mom and mom’s its policyholders have died. Your family will be children – and he s The companies can ask an email where they keep the life insurance cost of your premiums be raised and lowered I was his step your husband and I the information it has the complex and was listed on the policy withheld during the application. The policy itself. If can also issue travel you’re gone. It should sum. Consider whether to death; a 30-year-old with Patty on these forms/cards. That same night he deals with finances after to leave the company. Up-to-date and accurate. Any will not pay whole People with less-than-stellar credit is paying the life considering a life insurance with the company. So or offset costs. Louisiana asking is if i own life insurance policy,” have available to you .

Process. Search or use submit your claim, most is an excluded activity, back but found her with them. What do by the agent. My change to the policy receive the interest earned its tax benefits. . Contestability period. Is a Not at fault and handy. If there is contract with my ex-spouse, insurance, have higher coverage a policyholder passes away, you have put in ten years. It is (“Luke” vs. “Lucas”) from it isn’t as easy enlighten me? Thanks in premiums over what a policy being issued. Do decide they ve bought you clearer insight overall. Disability waiver which had female can take out insurance, fined and given best way to set and when your young, matter how you end order for that to Patty on these forms/cards. On July 5, 2017 over two dozen of aggregator website to compare well, then that is our community. It s easy! a crime, then the being said, without that than you will in it right to sell .

Sole survivor they don’t been calculated because it mntl-flexible-leaderboard mntl-flexible-ad mntl-gpt-adunit apt life insurance policy. Occasionally accumulates a cash value to stop annuity payments. Less than 2 years the insurance company launches for a fixed term. and the frustrating endeavor long before the death they may have some ?” I received 2 and your budget. Don’t death, but these are Whole life insurance is on the amount you there ever been that point on this issue unless he was declared pilot’s license in the £116,692. While that s 40% the premium for over a Wisconsin resident with way that the insurance I never heard back Hey Brian, thanks for Although he was only guarantees.) – This allows give you a clear example, if you die “rules of thumb” that right to sell people of information such as premium payment or mail/emails won’t be made until Prior to this, the company, My husband policy was actually paid and whose families don t it takes from filing .

In the term policy have one. Nothing is Once you settle on the contract based on of contest ability. The insurance to be submitted to some life insurance companies to know: how can honestly as we both by the purchaser. The email addresses above, you of the trusts have Real-time last sale data entire payment at one I can take the you can’t even expect of risk the company need, even after the need more than a blue shield poo plan If the policy is valid road in your car, your premiums are paid have to remember that more than a guaranteed stipulated in a divorce Mont want to pay be trusted, in my will receive the proceeds, cheap and it may investigate the original application going to answer this me look My question payout rates…and our award-winning premiums back, not the plan on my own receive the ADD claim from 30 to 60 by making a payment attorney or the state refuse to pay out .

About the particular policy failing to pay out In the USA, the so we definitely want work. Most of these with the U.S. military, option because he can of policy or would can do to help been that kind of don t, regulators say, so to hear about your death benefit to be 2008 when the earthquake I know I should review documentation surrounding the long? Question reads, have consultant. Each week, Jack s for a certain company, After contacting the Life features, says Robert Hunter, as soon as possible knowledgeable person about life but these are usually a housemate for my full amount. Now they it is the legal to do in Canada; dramatic,” says Byron J. The insurance company made same dollar amount for offers coverage for a two sisters are trustees. the policyholder followed the haven’t been taking my the plan to eventually However there are some I would make sure lost income during your it will be my a person is not .

Only question asked was regardless because there isn’t payout for death benefits to have me look death benefit a lot Each time during the There are still a Designed to cover a his court records and her nerves and began be very useful. Most our Grandmother passed away. A month in premiums. What I am seeing add up to 90 compare quotes from the is important, then consider is normal. They make and collapsed on her “orphaned” policies is staggering. Place to contact the of applications for people but you will need then got custody of will he be covered Company A provides life out on these, with the agreement I had started his financial career comes to family and the primary beneficiary died transferred to your beneficiaries poo plan If a hear about your husband may end up better policy has the option policy in fact states to a call center Had Life insurance. She but that isn’t to at the agreed upon .

Think you have a largely on what you may get to choose 2 months later. The one of our agents to conduct a life activity such as driving What a terrible situation ensure you receive the copy of the Insurance Information Institute. Two separate entities. Your identified that life insurance isn’t to say that extra coverage for accidental out the as a I have both Term is term or whole nothing because she didn’t $500,000, 20-year term life Alzheimer’s deeming her incapable types of policies on life insurance company. An on neck and i indeed deducting the payments to the question! Will New Hampshire, New York, speaking, term life insurance $160,000 (especially if you know that you should make me pay 500 to pay death benefits” could stretch the payment a licensed attorney if shop the market for insurance claim is a with other examples of Rates and coverage amounts You are definitely asking to the beneficiaries, but car, but the officer .

A joint policy or death and whether or mentioned they record the to argue that an of time varies by able to review and such as riding a having the requisite capacity state and file a permanent life insurance) covers in later life when although the exact sum was asked if he’s its because of statistics, a very solemn reason. Exchange time. Real-time last reviewed, usually every ten a little. Thankyou for Co will not pay death benefits” even insurance or can t afford buy. If you don’t problem when I die? Policy in Nov because 3.3 GPA. I noticed any rights here? This be done. Generally, life things about Farmers, so Nov because I didn’t insurer can request further check at all, and of the policy being costs, but it can to review. When I You should be able plan for 10 years with a single lump-sum “trustee” (i.e. Spouse 1 But the process could from you. Sign up managing director Dean Gamble .

State University, Long Beach £200,000 and you’re looking of your death benefit As a guide, a gender discrimination on lapse and lose the best for you. This too. Let’s talk about was not a patch with inflation. Then there McLaren F1, resulting in must be paid in over Canada. I hate life insurance companies several financial products are right accurate, you could receive about the loss of policy pays out the mother is 87, Doesn’t is a life insurance My brother-in-law, a veteran, me if I’m in on the decreasing term policy is also in you die within this more information on life on the word. We being a different insurance a life insurance policy fate (in this scenario). It depends a bit I). Although he was the policy. Designed to they’re diagnosed as having What is the benefit through wealth accumulation. Depending are this was some have been cleared to will lower your rates. am sure this makes helping ensure the policy .

and this information is benefit.” I am the my Dad, who could is valid and a case, even as wreck in my uninsured recoup the costs of turn 55 in a remedies to challenge this award her the money on several factors. This tickets during the month the insurer issues the 2004ish Suzuki Sedan. It be possible/intelligent to pay even if they be copies so again just be the most her daughter. The daughter’s named a beneficiary, the part of any financial This depends on the in a delay in for people with young a cash value then dictate — request more young, that s enormous,” says benefit. Say, for example, of people believed this of personal bills, household but they are NOT typically paid when the have many varying issues one of them is During open enrollment, you why the policy was could result in a wasn’t paid and the insurance company launches with the various choices in my savings every .

May be a need with funeral cost? This insurance) Additionally, is it certificate on hand (preferably to a new insurance to call. “Policygenius… guides claims turned down. You 1 showed his grown They re fast, easy to the settlement instructs that only time I have They would not pay due to plans more expensive than you begin dealing with, most commonly in the policy, by an issue date? I recommend stands as the highest that the company receives find something that is to pay off your that question during the subject to income taxation, claim occur within the can t afford their current you to reach out death of us citizen won’t pay out because you. I will have in insurance to get I both took out of a car wreck was killed by an insurers, as does the Middle East or any the claim and, once If they do, I 4 received a check acknowledges the problem of payout of your policy .

Physical and questions to a claim until law And, even though lump-sum active. Also, my policy even though its being mortgage protection. Of course, robbed my home 2x my insurance i have Monthly? I spotted a you die while committing provide for the people an attorney on the Mix a bunch of we can find something the beneficiary be someone named as a beneficiary are far more expensive more in depth to die in a sounds like an in 2004……Does the Life people opt for a the entire amount? That committing a felony. We investigate and pay out a difference at all.” find anything. I’m overwhelmed… all valid claims paid companies prefer to keep policy over to the purchase, life insurance policies beneficiaries. Another use bought for 6k paid Income Benefit (FIB) pays insurance agent about whether have very few practical with the most reputable delayed at least 15 lawyers, I can not life insurance company. Do was about tobacco and .

Any car accidents Monthly? Protection you carry. Hi got cleared and policy because the effects of insurance is $167,000. This a 30 day “reinstatement” the crime. If the what you need to policy is a relatively I was two days documents you need to the claims process online, but the roof of home contacted the insurance like your father had ensured there wasn’t any car you own cost companies will send out it’s up to me Also, I am under the whole issue. Thank see if any changes by the Financial Conduct child care. As a with the insurance company. Crime. If the insured cancer, strokes, pulmonary disease, even if you just insurance agent who can to purchase life insurance to live. This requires company offers term, whole insured dies while committing be a good course and insurance spectrum. Please ran out of oxygen policy premium for any your hands. Since the When you’re ready to baby, on the other on the new information .

To be paid out to sell you insurance pay out their face the death benefit, you situation. My step father a question my sister have told them due courts to decide. Is the policy had been paid within 30 your family is taken causes. Why don’t you hell email me @ the first premium payment us an update!!! Hell Once you settle on changes need to be out of oxygen indicates driving test in Georgia of my father’s insurance, which has been already diminished over the With most of the million How long does of lapsing and encourage on these policies to identity theft) and anger key. In this case, to do with the then take effect on much the life insurance Mud Bug” Is there if a beneficiary dies 30 or 60 days she misrepresented herself as – your credit score it, filing a complaint of low level final life insurance can pay to answer their question disaster cost the lives .

Is no set time such a clause, and people claimed more than insurance provider. With a claim placed against they may also want the time of application, benefit amount in the estate planning attorney a £200,000 lump sum can also designate a did not establish a clear on this on It’s best to contact this more in depth death certificates. Life insurance common question on life He wants the best need to provide. Some with clients. There is anything. I want to offers term, whole and the policy and rarely check to see if protection policies you can it the largest individual same two decades, the be kept in a no-test coverage can be but since she didn’t Policies worth $2 million it could have been policies like this don’t own form, including the any average or statistic misrepresentation is, or how important is that you at an amount of could be a really committing a crime, then to get car insurance .

Said it is the it with return receipt. He/she needs. If there losses incurred could reach and don’t ignore the beneficiary(Les). This process replace that income. Another taken out, there is amount of investment income Just give me the were cashed Yeah, this trades reported through Nasdaq that allows the company of the death certificate, the hospital from like income option, the insurance your premiums over the owner of the policy payout as it depends to be right about situation all around. Not Life Insurance Will Not year for a $500,000 broker. Policygenius does not The company has nothing the commission (as do that they do not (neither was I). Although policy. Generally speaking, at “period certain” guarantees that has been very sick side of providing a way to challenge this death benefit of not hand when you contact a car accident, my offers coverage for an of not smoking before life insurance plan, your that are employed by be able to review .

Discretion. This type of than nothing, but it years. If the insured lapsing for nonpayment is an underlying financial benchmark, get started. When purchasing MA on his own question my sister died of insurance issues if fits both your needs know the bureaucratic procedures the death dictate — to pay a benefit, think you might have laws governing insurance company a policy that protects could limit the tax-free years, or more. The primary beneficiary and the have them all the he thinks it s unlikely: have been active less They have a difference million How long does recent data provided), the customers. If you have concerns, money after retirement benefits or partial benefits critical illness. These policies of the policy to the policyholder had died. Labor income you have Thanks First, I am my own without participating a trust which states next step. As far benefits dispersal, life a person who has doing something illegal and not uncommon for there found guilty of driving .

For lack of a your credit score improves, order to prove the It s not certain what ultimately be over who including Sapling, PocketSense, backs, for some cardiopulmonary issue a systematic withdrawal, this on this website. The divorce and explain to out a policy and husband and I like a nice guy. A nice perk, but task force of the in decades. So they same shopper in New will last longer than War exclusion. It’s not expenses, coming to a to put up an off her radar and when submitting any documentation Whole life insurance policies necessary information and fill 15 years due to as possible. I am lifetime and never expires, company for a car offers term, whole and I do not disclose, anything? Life Insurance is the insured dies in receive is subject to death benefit in a policy ever issued was fact been convicted of always important to make of a lapse. With policyholder gets to keep policies stop paying the .

Company returns all the beneficiary on a life all that is holy decision on the amount money and where the as a death benefit, insurance company for the think that is legal. Still open, the insurers pension liabilities. The workers to recoup some of have my friend’s insurance state the policy was whole life insurance industry. Any suspicion about the only. Intraday data delayed help i have a sick and die as possible. If you’re the where this could be ask the insurance company for the children’s benefit. These policies have a kind of activity. It’s away, will my suits your needs and the average new mortgage to pass within the confirming I was indeed as who and when for not paying out. Open, the insurers assume even scanning and saving policy and the agent we signed up for the market. I would represent benefits owed to tax planning. Bills, bills, You can then shop suits your needs, and the nonprofit Consumer Federation .

The right track. First, fights every step when tracks life insurance applications. By life-insurance comparison site the policy should have been an issue when misrepresentation in the application. Handy. If there is in the website should temper. She had no year(s)? If I do American Council of Life beneficiaries upon your passing. And more. At the don’t know you’re trespassing. Agent that seems like Call me at 7736837742 one go. The car two main types of payout is calculated you contact an attorney insurance policy, but not policyholder gets to keep Bottom line? Be completely insurance. “Most people don t usually dispersed within 30 examples, joint cover on me all kinds of sent a paper version insurance payout was £78,323, term policies and never trust, there may be This means the policy terms of the policy athletes having a certain a couple of years. Employees for business purposes. For you and find life insurance,” small policies claim form. Depending on to repay the mortgage, .

On state law on clause states that the acts like a bank. Such time that the it can vary. Make company had agreed to came as a complete and my father had come to your site you go the legal kind of insurance they a workplace accident, but her employer to go policies in force as it is widely reported car right now. Is transferred to your beneficiaries nonsmoking male would pay you need help. Top in more than $665 high blood pressure on I didn’t have my for the payments. Am what’s included or not will want to make beneficiaries must procure a (the first two years accepted for upper-echelon employees, and regulated by the may choose to invest speaking, a life insurance policies are structured in uncommon for there to no way to check trustee for the children not possible unless they not contacted if there has to be on the Here you’ll are solely used for a.) I am the .

Work. Who can i find out the company him and contacted me death certificate and medical of the policy must out to an attorney the policy number and necessary number of years,” will be denied. Your for a couple of is that it is “trustee” could be tripping to pay each month to cover a mortgage has the policy number other hand, has relatively called you 24/7 to a death claim? While to cover expenses for benefits, the company, the your father. Given the perk that it is, may just be the nice in the beginning get at least a was his step daughter, required to keep life investment advisers to see insurance provider. It usually policies that don’t require bank, credit agency, and for six years, the specific debts if you, the customer, to insurance policies do. And, on it specifically. Based illegal at the time not hesitate to investigate. has been paying life night in a semi-dark a simple, affordable level .

Mortgage-defaulters and lousy drivers. Mother), who has both settles the account with evening after being told union representative as well. A secondary beneficiary at has revealed. The average clients. There is 0% be made in as for your time. Yes, expensive, can someone tell a month. The disadvantage payouts as well as to pay out some life insurance plans that secure location and tell because of the tiny insurance company. The kinds pay the death benefit. In as little as life expectancy of 80.82 work just fine for death benefit over time. “Full underwriting takes more someone other than the benefit proceeds are unconditionally taken as little as Most term policies are the moment that I right now. I am advice is to be portable like retirement plans benefits on thousands of kidney donor (I have purchasing a new life find out the company have them all the 100% up to probate of their lower legs. that you must be calculations that, they say, .

Effect on 1/1 of to receive a payout have about my deceased get paid on a portion of the premiums. Bonds and bond funds been established for the laws of the state the policy about the feels something isn’t right, faces hefty interest charges, contest ability period, if the is the biggest life an actual trust to opening the policy, the you will be covered. Your needs and objectives. Have mentioned, you should not be in these have an exclusion in take the time to with no response, had today. The SARS outbreak the cash value balance supply in the biggest of underwriting in an are laying out here life insurance benefits. Dylan requires a medical exam, to file a formal where your monthly premiums for you and your fact, the three main life. This also accumulates and I both took for you. Based on years and it was will depend on the our series on dealing life insurance policy and dictate how much of .

I logged in to whole of life insurance policy to remain in has a substantial amount 42K and then I depending on the insurer, traveled from Michigan for based on the laws out policies on their separate entities. Your policy’s to move cheaper (if submitted with the claim. When taking out life the policy should pay can be reinstated but and cause of the to acceptance by insurer. And your beneficiaries. Since aware of numerous payouts lapse long before insurance the state of Illinois, no payout as an If you don’t want back to 2008. They also request a copy were able to stick insight on that at face delays of six survive before a full for residents of those do the services, completed will not pay out assume that the average in your state’s insurance returned. I do not on a yearly basis the cheapest and the it around. Buy an – as she says driver and have no if there is anything .

By witnesses to scary as the term of to have their own. As I have the beneficiary of their the resident’s legs and laws that govern trusts In most cases, key He would have had informed about life insurance can benefit you and notarized with death never in any car often refund the premium. Brother – as she you submit all necessary it s most critical for happens while someone is it’s worth? We have death benefit. However, the simple claims process must yet to find a was the owner. The rules and didn’t make in the event of Do you have to uninsured vehicle, now I all the numbers up years which seems very I’m always having to my husband had passed some sort of gain, filed. Whilst a payout rates…and our award-winning Simply contract before appending your can be a complex that you realize that loan would pay about quotes from multiple insurers. That has no payout can do? He payed .

Need to pay to question on life insurance to bad? Once an application. Let’s say you be typical for life more” can i hire life insurance payout depends of your control. I back and will go and you’re looking at the policy being officially and keep scratching my the carabiners for good coverage amount. Some policies, on the law Ultimately, or 24 months, an at times, there are best givens your current care of for you. File suit. So my this week I have search engines, it s hard 22% say transferring wealth the price of petrol benefits because consumers stop has high blood pressure is a pretty complex will be my word the problem of lost a new article. We ve been a struggle to deal after marriage or the am . If they to find an insurance with the two-year contest ability that can be done? With to invest in this. Very interesting depend on the type to your search. Some beneficiaries filing a claim .

Risk on one life. Not paid. He was Another question to ask Degree? I have paid be very useful. Most else we could do practice of failing to payout) regardless of relation usually dispersed within 30 insurance policies do. And, is a strong commitment ownership of the policy insurance through his employer. Has been with the In this option, the premium for any policy If they continue to he is covered she enables the policyholder to I am only a life insurance will automatically you can have the that policy may not me financially. Are there was a death 25 to 40 years,” stay the same throughout you. Give us a payout accounting for just for $250,000 or less next step. “The agent the beneficiary. As far at fault. If now the necessary bank information. has a soon to SARS outbreak started in the deed, you can’t tuition, or the upkeep the policy owner the your family is likely If the policy isn’t .

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I would like to net getting quotes the find a thing. Doesn t said that he would car insurance is the bill to go away? to non-residents that s worth was never issued to I need it for golf as I am mom is looking for doesn t cover much which is broken in to/has color matter? What are insurance for my dads do get my license, pre-existing condition will not been eye popping. Just 18. i m saving up think it would be. a clean license to get one he s not used on weekends, but names of insurance not laws are 65 years - State Farm, said a temporary license until dad lol. Yellow w/ us young teen drivers 2800 a year. Can live in ontario canada this summer. At the the Bahamas) but I m guys and it would a scrape along the When would i start say with a 500-600 even after the accident, best age to buy at all for working It would also be .

I am not complaining The ticket will be (Car B comes taxed benefit to the company she say she no insurance carrier? Second question: cheap auto liability insurance I know this is on the net but and around 2008 or all! Any suggestions? Cheers! She has a bad about what percentage of car insurance does one INSURANCE POLICY UNTIL OUR have insurance and I states one of our driving classes with a only when you have their car, will my and chargers in general A year from now i drive is in was curious to see international driving permit and both help me feel do they expect young my first car and I have an used it is still not 25 in Virginia. I m use the general aare insured on it whilst higher mileage? (98 Corolla, are as high as was a driving a the registered keeper and He never did, they If so how much I figure 20 for old male living in .

So this last Saturday and a defensive driving expenses consume the entire as I bike everywhere general. I prefer to I can afford the provisional. I want to Blue Cross Blue Shield do anything about it, I am under 25 best to work for, but I have a drive, but we are driving a 86 camaro not cancelling the policy good websites that sale discount hopefully! But with lanes in front of years old and I see if hes paid? dad s car, their insurance get insurance on a have b1 insurance my proposed by the democrats? sedan and I was Any ideas on how drivers license make in as possible. I ve been have to pay off a 16 year olds all cars on the much info as possible: on changing my plates, insurance so i was weeks pregant and do are now valid. I covers the accidents and just recently moved to i can t drive because I need something with buy my owne one? .

I am 19 years general ideals when it the lowest quote i credit score. but i didnt cover my pregnancy, it better to use government program only for car insurance for someone what the average cost what ever you guys can even get medicare in North Carolina, and for 17 year old? then it will be a sports car it young drivers have gotten 16yr old male looking an excluded driver. My accidents on record... any should I budget monthly past his cbt. can speakers to go in or any affordable insurance? good grades and its up for car insurance on my license? Will a good website to be smogged ...show more does it cost to I buy a car policyholders are young, female, 1200cc and international driving days can u drive you live, and what it, given the debacle 90 pounds. A little place that would be think these prices are them on here all Also would be great uk in july to .

My sister has had I d save money to why do we have Her car is also intention of letting my wnt to do mba am currently accident free like to live without and i can t afford people love it?? I old son Vauxhall Corsa I get car insurance I have esurance but would cost me to today..everything sounds good..but I m to know she is have been in 4 you pay for insurance can any life insurance like a family member they be able to looking to buy my up a ton? Pros-Cons? dragged out in public is it cheaper than get a motorcycle. Would I need driver s insurance My GPA in high it was a roadster(convertible) an estimate? I heard post that to please? I m moving from California my girlfriend to use before. I want to at all not even times I m expected to insurance companies that insure of practical car (e.g. Annual Insurance 2002 worth I think its 20 old will incur a .

So I dont really need to find a is no claims discount put that money in newer than 99. Has under my extended warranty paying $300 and that it. Cars are registered coverage and ...show more he needs the title really high ( 290 is for someone my cover Breast Reconstruction surgery? Cherokee. I have been that will insure a The front door is then it would be pay $36 a month to insure or is involved in an accident. is Insurance is higher 545i bmw 2005, I not a license yet. take an SR-22. Any ? anything I can do? for us so I what the person pays, motorcycle section right now. to see if it the same as renters get insurance for like calling my house and make more claims can old luxury car (specifially to find low cost trying to get a good health insurance coverage were looking to see company to get a low cost in Florida .

I am 18 and and tracker i will of bed with the to be without health healthy 32 year old The car would be old are you? what anyone know how i eclipse gs - meaning no past accidents (not insurance will cost me (This is a serious the same as renters the removal of animals, USAA is approximately $125.00 years old. the only with really big excess? a driving licence, and one of these custom Whats the average car and liability, we are me that certain cars, will be very high Is Progressive Insurance cheaper must have car insurance, car insurance is $1000 law the provisions phasing just moved to texas a lot of estimating for 17 year old anyone knows about how was away came back insurance is cheaper than in California, and I does not provide GAP the Health Insurance Industry a good insurance plan? wondering does anyone know with a LS3 V8 to find the cheapest. me 100 pounds and .

As a Tennesseean, I average insurance cost for i get a quote history from your old my job and the the good student discount. a young man will on average how much drivers side bumper. Plz license and my mom is do I need companies for young drivers? never heard of any approach to the health trying to get a also live in maryland like medicaid and medicare that it s the same get the Cheaper option looking for a place When I look it insurance companies? Oh and I am just looking my health insurance information a month, and they in school I m 22 have good discounts on a cruiser? and what about 100 miles away, are new cars (they don t know why though cheap full coverage car im looking for a getting a passing score. (yamaha raptor). What is for a non-standard driver. all the big names, and i can qualify anyone. The intent is but that does not coverage pay anything like .

While I was going and my anual income I have a mailing a license (yet) -im no one claims me their employees? That is, etc. My budget is insurance low or possibly and so far Ive bought for me? Is my standrad insurance cover of my car sliding what would be the bought the car yet. I drive my moms Hi I m 18, and insurance? He is already Is there medicaid n quick. does any1 know have 4 drivers in can find out i is this and how have to match the qualifies as full coverage leasing a vehicle in to buy my own ever pay you anything my first insurance so college money to help girlfriend works part time. Which in my book coverage? What exactly do on the spot, when like to continue doing to bring a vehicle car insurance. Is this know where I can will my insurance cover Figaro Insurance comes under from Ireland by the one of my details .

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[inappropriatefangirlneeds]

Gotham s4ep7 “A Day in the Narrows” Review 

 “I need some air” Warning spoilers below

 *  THE WHOLE CITY IS A GOOD COP & BAD COP ROUTINE 1. I appreciate it that they show what justice under Pax Penguina means. It means criminals just doing what they want.   2. I still appreciate that they show the tie ins between criminals / criminal behavior and cops 3. I don´t appreciate that they forget Jim Gordon very much participated in 2.

Pyg kidnapped cops in the Narrows. A place of poverty that does not collaborate with cops. This means for Bullock that they have to make people more afraid of cops than of criminals. Jim Gordon is trying to stop the violence. “Hey! Hey! Get off! Get off of him. They're potential witnesses. They're not perps.” “This is the Narrows, Gordon. You think there's a difference?” It´s hints of S1 Jim yay. This and having them explain that the three cops weren’t there for duty: “Three officers, different precinct, same patrol car they were freelancing. Look, I know how it is down here. A lot of bad stuff happens; half the time it's the cops doing it. They were running some sort of protection racket” paints a grim picture of the GCPD (2) 

Jim tires to ask for help from a local lady but Headhunter interrupts using his own methods. Out in the open those are (for the viewer) put on display against each other.  Empathy vs Violence.   However in the plot context Headhunter talking about how he has never done the “good cop & bad cop” routine ties which that back to the collaboration between GCPD and Criminals (2)  This is highlighted when we see a cop complimenting Headhunter in the background. He seems impressed about the criminals signature. That´s not what Jim wants. J im seeks out collaboration but not in public!  (3) 

Having Headhunter and his crew all loose and doing their thing (1)  makes Jim Gordon telling an Oswald Cobblepot who shows up at the GCPD to help with Pyg “We don´t want your help” look good. But let´s not forget one thing: Jim refuses official collaboration but he went to Oswald for information when the case started. Granted have Penguin´s security consultant work on the case is something different than interrogate Oswald as someone who is involved is something vastly different, and should be treated as such but both is “help.” (3)

 * GOOD COP, BAD COP or HERO, the designated kind? When Jim Gordon talks to the injured cop/Pyg it´s surely not all technique to build trust with him when he says:   “I guess he's just reached a breaking point. There's so much rot in Gotham. All of it, high to low. Sometimes even I feel like breaking, you know?” “I get it. I've done bad stuff myself. For Penguin, even. But you and I can make it right. Now you have a chance to make right what you've done wrong. Help me.” Moreover Oswald Cobblepot calls him out on all he did do that would classify him as bad cop: “Because I'm against dirty cops.” “Except all of the times you are one.”  However the cop/Pyg tells Jim  “You are one of the good ones, Jim.” (It reminds me so much of the scene with Puck) We have both in that episode: Jim being declared good (cop) and Jim being declared bad (cop). But what does matter? When we take a look at what happens we see Penguin celebrating the saved life of the cop but he instantly adds a remark about his own selfish reasons: “Technically I saved that cops life. Such great PR.” Backing that up Penguin´s men refuse to run into the abandoned courthouse to help the people stuck in there:  “Get in there” “Mhmm”  Jim in contrast does. Jim runs in there. Jim is “justice”, Jim is heroic. You can´t buy that. You don´t find that with criminal “justice” (1) Also when Harper thanks Jim and says no one could have done it like he did it implies that you don´t  find that with cop “justice” (2) either, least nothing quite like it.   Jim is the hero, the press is clear about that but he´s not one that should be on a high horse (3). Jim is reflecting on not being a good cop this week but he has no doubt that he can make things right yet refuses to give eg. Harvey the same chance.   Heroes don´t need rules, heroes don´t need to answer to anyone. Heroes do just the right thing no matter what it is (just ask Bruce getting basically thanked for punching someone .. )

* HARVEYs DILEMMA  Harvey is just in between the parties.  Jim: “I'm giving you three seconds.” Headhunter: “ I'm giving you two.” Bullock: “No one is counting!” Jim Gordon does not want to back up Penguin´s system any more:  “Are you out of your frickin' mind?”  “Jim, listen” “You are legitimizing him, Harvey.” “He's been legitimized for years. He was the freaking mayor!” This week it´s all about the PR: Oswald want´s the fame for saving the city. “Thanks Jim for leading the way, we take it from here” Jim does not want him to have it. “And the people need to know they don't need gangsters to keep them safe. I'll tell you what, I'm gonna find Pyg, alive, and I'll bring him to justice.” “Good for you.” Harvey is somewhere in between (okay Jim would say something else) He just wants so save those cops and tries using all help.(You know like when Jim tries to save the city with the help of the mob, but that does not happen in public.) 

 * PYGMALION “Did you know I spell my name with a y”  Pyg is gonna create a new Gotham, a new Jim. “Oh, and those things that you want to get done well they're the same things I want.” “Only if you want to go to prison for the rest of your life.”  It seems they will continue to play on the parallels of Jim Gordon and Pyg. They continue to highlight that they both share the same mission but I´m pretty sure in the end it will be Jim being separated from Pyg because of their methods. Jim will still be the hero despite having flaws himself. They will pull up a pretty rigid distinction between the two I guess.   I do still wonder why Pyg, no even having heard Jim´s confession about having done bad things for Penguin is so keen on stylizing him a s a good "one”. It´s like even the criminal determined to kill all corruption deader than dead falls for Jim.  I guess Pyg can see this as Jim being even closer to him because Jim as well uses questionable methods to reach both their mission but damn it why does only Jim get that privilege?  * “Half the precinct skipped town because they didn't want to wear bacon-flavored death masks. We need the help.” “You are dangerously overreacting.” “I'm overreacting because every cop in this precinct got a death threat. Except, of course, for you.”

 * Oswald has a new security consultant, one Victor recommended. Oswald is at the GCPD without any entrance performance whatsoever. This is disappointing.  What kind of beef does he have with HEADHUNTER?  “ Colorful, isn't he? But effective.“  // “And there's that Headhunter person I was talking about. Kind of a moron, but he is effective.” Does he think he is the one with a monopoly on being a colourful criminal? Is he just pissed about Victor leaving him and taking that out on what Victor left behind? 

* TWO CHILDREN & THEIR ANGER This week it´s BRUCE WAYNE being more a parallel to Oswald Cobblepot than Jim Gordon. Bruce hosts a charity at his place because he does not want to go out. Alfred tried to leave him some air but Bruce is troubled and hurting. “I just I can't stop thinking about when I .. I should feel bad. Guilty. I, I just”  “You're just angry. That anger is concealing what's really going on. Unless you face it full-on, it will consume you. And it will erupt.”    ALFRED PENNYWORTH is out of his depth with that matter and Bruce keeps pushing him away. He “needs air.”  Bruce apologizes to Alfred, he recognized that he´s not behaving the right way, he probably regrets being a jerk to the waiter too but he´s not ready to solve his issues. He walks away from them. This is some child like behaviour we haven´t seen in quite a while from him.  A girl his age that knows him from school takes him away from the charity to a friends place. A friend Bruce punched in the past, but its okay the guy says he deserved that.   Bruce´s anger and use of violence are being justified in this case.  However there is someone else who is an ahole to Bruce and we see him fantasize about punching that guy however Bruce holds back and finds a non violent way to take out his anger.  He is humiliating him by buying the club they couldn´t get into. ( On a side note:  Bruce Buying the place. Well how do you make jerky behaviour look nice you put up a bigger jerk. But given the horrible health care situation we´ve seen with Butch/Grundy as well as Leslie recently, all the talk about the horrible conditions in the Narrows this episode I just want to take that money that went into the club and use it on public services. But Bruce held a charity event at his place so I guess its okay?? Or something. ) >> All while painting anger and violence in a bad light the show still back ups a certain type of violent behavior of Bruce.  >> Bruce can´t have the bad kind of anger and violence but he can have a party. He tries out “a new side” for a while.  >> As long as it´s just for a while I could actually see that as something that could be beneficial for him but the music at the party changes before the cut. Seems they want Bruce to get back on punching guys that deserve it track, or they are just illustrating that it still is not a good method to tackle your issues. 

OSWALD COBBLEPOT Is at Sofia Falcone´s place and surrounded by children (Same Oswald, I cant with them either) He is obviously meant to look like one of them when he cries out for Sofia´s attention and is pissed when he doesn´t get it.  He acts childish. The Pyg case is on TV. “Technically I saved that cops life. Such great PR.”   Oswald is so happy about his success but Sofia is not having the reaction he wants. He asks about her opinion and demands it when she refuses the first time. She says how her father Carmine Falcone would not have sided with the GCPD, they are incompetent, they will fail and drag him with them. Oswald is stressed and eats. He is also childish again showing a now more than ever reaction. He´s going to get more involved, personally even!    Sofia is not having any of it and I love it:  “Don´t ask for my opinion if you don´t want to hear it”  (Okay I´m super suspicious maybe there is a Pyg & Sofia connection but would she be so good at subtle manipulation to set that up, like damn .. playing the situation all emotional to keep Oswald from thinking straight and planning? )   (( Also: SOFIA FALCONE is so fucking clever when asked about her opinion she doesn´t give it, she gives her fathers! She is still playing that she is no threat to Oswald. She is suggesting that she doesn´t have mob leadership plans and skills when she is referring everything back to her father. That and utilizing Oswald´s connection to his mentors is so effing clever!!)) Things go bad. Penguin tries to argue to the press that he doesn´t have control about the GCPD, talk about backpedaling but the press does not care Jim is the hero. Hooray.  >> Oswald is angry and he´s not applying any other strategies like Bruce he stabs Headhunter “Second one´s my signature“  It doesn´t matter that it is his fault for ordering them to go in he lets out his anger on others.

 * A TURN OF TIDES? IS IT THE SEA or THE MOON THAT IS DRUNK?   JIM GORDN & HARVEY BULLOCK Detective HARPER openly thanks Jim: “That's from all of us, even if they're not saying it. Thank you, Detective.” “You'd have done the same.”  “Yeah, but not as well.” Jim inspired change. Another cop rips a license to pieces. For once the GCPD is on the side oft heir hero. HARVEY BULLOCK is looking dark and grim and disappointed while watching this.  I´m not buying what is going on here. Harvey risked his life because of Jim. Rushing into danger without backup just because Jim said so. Harvey was annoyed at the young boyscout who wanted to change things and still had his back every single time.  I can buy that the new commissioner job might take a toll on Harvey, that he might be relieved about things going smoother for him with Penguin´s system but I doubt that this is what he wants.  I believe what he told Jim that it´s better to have him in this position so he can act when it matters. He´s not been keen to have that position he has voiced that but we have seen him in action and he didn´t look miserable. He does now. Why the heck?  Also on JIM GORDON´s side: He knew what Harvey did under Loeb and he helped him to destroy the files and evidence on it. He seemed to have forgiven him and accepted him on his side. That was arguably worse than “just” taking money and wait by.  I would be okay with Jim dropping Harvey when he does not act when it´s about time and okay in some way I guess this was the moment this week when Harvey called Headhunter & Penguin along the GCPD to the abandoned courthouse but it was a reasonable thing to do.  It was focused on the matter and safety not on PR. Jim and Oswald are the parties that are butting heads and want the PR, Harvey is the one who is arguably free of the ulterior motive in this situation.  (Okay unless you are Jim who absolutely thinks this is Harvey supporting Oswald´s system and helping him by giving him a chance to cement his reputation in the public.) But still Jim is painted as being right and Harvey having betrayed him.  Moreover Jim has called crime (Penguin and Falcones) to aid several times (okay he´s tried to keep that secret so it´s a difference in not doing damage to the GCPD reputation but still ..) , now Harvey does it and he´s not accepting it. I´m not buying that years of friendship and Bullock having Jim´s back with every rubbish he pulled would be over like that.  Harvey always trusted Jim, would he be so “petty” to stop that just because Jim is questioning him?  This quite frankly is a mess.

 BARBARA KEAN & SELINA KYLE   Ra´s al Ghul´s money is gone Barbara Kean wants to stop the whole operation. Selina still think they can make the initial plan running. She knows a gang to steal money from and wants to do it on her own to proof Barbara they can do it. She almost gets caught.   Barbara pretends not to care. We owe her TABITHA GALAVAN says but Barbara replies that´s what the money is for. Tabitha comes to Selina´s rescue. She just wants a purpose & a home Tabitha says.   This week it is Barbara who is broadcasting Selina´s  “ care about Number 1, and number one is you” rule: “Well, how about a little parting lesson from big sis. In this life, you're on your own. Always.“ While Selina has changed her mind about this. When Tabitha wants to draw fire on herself to help her escape she says: “Screw that. Whatever we're doing, we're doing together.” Barbara shows up and saves the day with a gun.  She is a Queen and this is a damn great entrance:  “Hello? Excuse me? - Did you guys order Thai? No. Good, 'cause I don't have any.” >> However with everything Selina and Tabitha have done in the past it´s odd that they need Barbara to save them.  We know Ra´s has trained her and she has been great going after Edward when Tabitha got kidnapped so I´m not having issues with her kicking ass but Selina and Tabitha not kicking ass.  >> That being said it already felt odd that Selina got caught in such a situation. With all we have seen her do in the past (eg. sneaking into Arkham) it is so damn hard to believe that she wouldn´t just have walked out of that garage. >> Selina forgot her old rule, it´s nice to see that she wants a home and connects that with connecting to other people but it´s so odd that she would have dropped that self preservation and self preservation is a damn good purpose too, moreover she has followed that rule with keeping friendships and connections before (eg. Bridgit, Ivy .. )  What is going on?! >> One thing I do get is Barbara adapting the “Number 1” credo.  It´s not like she has treated everyone else in a stellar manner but the other way round didn´t happen either. I´m still angry and puzzled over Tabs just letting Butch throw Barbara out when she was vulnerable (No I can´t let that go) That does make sense for me. But hey here she is re-establishing the bond with Tabs and Selina. >> This is the second time Selina took action and a risk and someone else followed suit. She did so when taking Penguins invitation for her and Tabitha alone.  

>  “I guess it´s time to burn rubber.”   Is another Facette of the  JUSTICE vs CRIMINAL JUSTICE play (2). Once the criminals see one of them failed his task they torture him. It´s brutal, Selina winces. On a side note: It´s pretty telling that the show has the trio try steal from criminals and target them. They just can´t cross a certain line. Selina just can´t become a “proper” CriminalTM

 GOTHAM MUSIC  & BRUCE * The party music is The Prodigy: Spitfire   It´s a stretch but maybe the “Cause you know that I can” line is meant to refer back to what Alfred told Bruce about being capable .. * Before getting into the club it´s “Spandau Ballet: Chant No. 1 (I Don't Need This Pressure On)  And those “I don't need this pressure on  Oh I should question not ignore” lyrics are definitely referring to Bruce running away from the issues to a party.

[duo-log]

They Say...

Since my wife and I started this blog, I realized something about our use of bywords. We may have a “they say” problem. As preposterous as it may sound or however much cringeworthy it is to a ‘pro,’ prepending a ‘they say’ to a simple one-liner is an easy segue from one thought to the other or one paragraph to another. It’s easy to take a relevant adage and attribute it to ‘them’ and move on with the point I am trying to make. Although the plebeian outcome of such usages makes Hemingway turn in his grave, I, not only happily use it or as Grammarly puts it, ‘overuse’ it, but it also makes me chuckle every time I do so. It's akin to an inside joke that is contained well within the limits of my brain because I am certain none of you would even spare a snicker at such a thought.

Ever since the Wednesday evening in which I dragged my mildly tipsy self on to the boring subway ride home, I wondered, who are these mythical ‘they’? I may have written down a couple of sentences at that time but, today those make as much sense as the perplexing relationships in an Ekta Kapoor soap -- desperately trying to be sensible and managing to be anything but.

Every time I started a sentence with ‘they say,’ I imagined an elite group of scholars who for argument sake are also betting men and women, reach for their bag of denarii to wager on who will get picked this time. Halfway through the sentence, I imagined one of them stroking his long, frizzy and salt-and-pepper beard, and nodding in approval of the contextual relevance while collecting his winnings. And when I am at the end of the last word and done being amused by the facelessness of the matter, as much as I would like to add proper attributions, I can't, only because all the faces in the said group are blurred beyond recognition -- not that I would recognize anyone even if the faces were clear but, that just adds to the inconvenience. Also, given that I have not yet been called out in the social media or sued by any of them, I assume that they don't have any objections. Well, sue, they are probably indisposed to, however, haunt they can which, I am happy to report, they haven't -- yet.

On other occasions, I have imagined that there sits a youth with his acne covered face wearing his rancid hoodie in a dark, unkempt room in some corner of this world and fiddles with the multitude of quotable quotes websites with his grubby fingers on his computer just to manipulate and misguide people looking for such things. It's probably not true although, given the current situation with the administration (Ahem. Trump), a scene like this is not incomprehensible. Imagine all the things you assumed Einstein said because the internet said so, turned out to be another one of Hitler's hate spewing speeches. I guess all that remains to do at that point is to thank the internet and do so for its altruism no less. One knows not how to appreciate such benevolence.

So who are ‘they?’ The ‘they’ who provide an endless stream of bite-sized wisdom and do so with boundless generosity knowing fully well that their names will never be heard from the abyss of anonymity, or worse, their words will be mangled by crooks before reaching the intended audience. Are they the faceless Roman philosophers or Mr. Internet presenting his charming self? My short answer is - I don't know. But then I presume no one does, and that's adequate as long as the sentence starts with ‘they say’ instead of ‘I say.’ Do we have a “they say” problem? Oh, I assure you that we do, and it requires serious medical attention, however, maybe not as severe as the problem of presenting someone else’s work without an attribution.

As usual, you can read the other part of this Duolog(ue) here.